PANSY

I ♥ my life

2010-12-29T20:03:00.004+08:00

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Year 2010 is going to end, and come ahead the new year 2011.
So much things happened in this year, and this changes had produced current me.
Yes, the past me produced current me, the current me produce future me. =)
I promised will be better and better, promise to myself and those who love me.

A good news and a sad news going to announce here..
Ehmm, let the bad news come first..
This Monday (27/12/2010), on my preparation to work at home, I felt dizzy then fainted.
The impact is horrible, even now when think back, I still feel very scary.
I hurt my chin and 4 of my teeth split. Luckily my incisor safe.
Really thank you my family especially mama who taking care of me.
My family is the most important asset to me. I love them most.
And I feel thank you to my colleagues who very concern about my status.
touching~

the terrible and scary wound.

I'm now consuming medicine and in the meantime take Vitamin C and E which is good for scar as recommended by doctor. I don't want permanent scar leave on my face.

And I wish my tooth is strong enough and still beautiful as last time. I had done the x-ray on my tooth and the dentist said I have to go for extraction for 2 teeth. Is that mean I have to be friend with denture there on?

Not dare to think about that.

Yes, I should think positively this time. I'm luckily coz I didn't hit my head and the wound is not too obvious to notice. My incisor is safe and I still can smile confidently.

Ok, lets end the sad incident.

Here the good news come..

Haha, Yeappi~

I got promoted to Officer level 2. Just got the news today from my colleagues. Staffs who had applied for promotion in my centre all got good news. I feel I'm lucky.

*************************************************************************

Silly me

♥ I have joined the part time modelling course about a month ago. I'm not sure whether I can change myself via this short term course and I feel lost now. Anyway, just hope the miracle happen on me. Sure you guy will shock to hear this news from me. Y? Never knew Siew Theng dream to be a model? haha..

blablablablabla~

Only I know what I want. And I wish I can achieve it. Good luck to myself. And the scar must disappear.

My wish, getting prettier and prettier.

*************************************************************************

back to childhood...

2010-08-22T16:14:00.002+08:00

Why adult world need to be so complicated?
I'm not good in observe nor judge people, but at least I feel comfortable with myself. My mind is not as complicated as you people.
Not in the good mood...
Public relation, sometimes I doubt whether I'm suitable for this courses. Because I'm not fake enough to face people around me.. not good in social communication too. Is it college life so tough to get a friend who really sincere to you?
I know my life circle is not as wide as yours.. Your words offend me..

back to childhood...

2010-08-22T16:14:00.000+08:00

Vision with Action

2010-07-19T18:04:00.002+08:00

在家的感觉真好～
明天开工了，今天一定要好好休息，珍惜每一分每一秒。。。

我，真的不够果断，很多事情都拿不定注意(这样怎么做成大事呢？）
亲爱的朋友们，请教教我该怎么做！

Attended the 3 days Clerical Development Courses from Eon Bank Learning Centre. I wish I can make some changes after this courses, just as one of the trainer said, "I can give you motivation & advices, but to change yourself or remain in the same place, its depends on yourself! "

“Break your fear” session, I've break this board which represent my fear, although only managed to break it after 3times attempts. I hope can gain more confident, courage and become more decisive. This three elements is vital for me. Before this, during one test given, I know I belongs to internal intangible person (this is good), but I found myself also closed to external intangible too (this not good, because person who is external intangible is easily affected by other people's words, and I know I always been like this, I need people to praise me always in order to boost up my confident level, no praise = no confident) . After get known of yourself, its time to change!

Siew Theng, believe in yourself, focus on your goals, work on it and break the fear!!!

-Life is full of Love-

我要快乐～

2010-07-18T23:03:00.001+08:00

快乐是自找的不是你给我的～（忘记什么歌名了）

管它的，我要快乐～快乐，请跟我成为好朋友吧！

我行吗？

2010-07-14T22:33:00.002+08:00

~~我想。。好想鼓起勇气去。。参加Ifeel Girl Search 2010.~~
~~才刚游览Ifeel网站，报名截止日期是7月20日，也就是说，我只剩5天时间考虑和行动！~~
~~去年已经开始留意此活动，但总不敢行动，想太多，怕被取笑，没人气等等～~~
~~请给我勇气！！！~~ (I gave up!)

Please motivate me~

2010-07-11T16:22:00.001+08:00

Feeling so lazy to move!!
Can someone please slap me and awake me???
Siew Theng so so so lazy..
Lazy plus lack of courage..
always day dreaming without any move!
HELP her please!

Actually I'm quite impressed by one girl. Although don't know her in real life.
She have to courage and passionate to chase on her dream.
I admire her altitude.
Positive minded, confident, courage.. All this I need to add on to my personalities.

Cheer~
Simple~
Love~

make ME the centre

2010-07-11T00:38:00.001+08:00

Why why why?
Friends of mine get know of me well because of my boy friend?
Because my boy friend good looking then they only try to know me further..
Feel dislike, hate this.. lol..
I feel like wanna have my own life without boy friend's shadow. He have his friends, his life, his study, and same do I. So, boy friend, please don't control me to hang out with who, I know what am I doing all the time.
I give you freedom to make friends, carry out activities and so please allow me too.

Really really dislike those whenever think of me, sure think of I am having a relationship with a good looking guy first. My qualification physical appearance got that worse compare to boy friend?

Beagle

2010-06-21T00:44:00.000+08:00

Welcome Baby / Bibi~
Ya, we just bought it about two weeks ago. A 3 months Female Beagle
And we named it as baby (my wish) / bibi (mom and siblings preferred)
Below are the photos taken when we still making decision whether to buy it or not. =P
Big appetite, can finish her food within a minutes, run like rabbit, cute =D

解放

2010-06-21T00:15:00.000+08:00

请允许我在这里发泄我的不满。。啊！！！！

男朋友大人可是一次比一次忙，根本没有时间去陪陪我这个女朋友！

好希望有好多好多节目来添满我的行程，但工作量拜托不要再增加了～

我想学个人化妆，但还没做research 。。

明天，开工了，蓝色心情，希望公司里没发生什么大新闻，也希望工作量不要再加了

祝我好运吧～

2010-06-21T00:01:00.000+08:00

我公公在星期三，也就是端午节那天过世了。。

已调试好心情，我会珍惜身边所有的人。

希望他老人家能安心，一路走好

坚强，乐观

2010-06-16T21:46:00.002+08:00

流逝的光阴能倒流吗？
死神，请您不要这么快把他带走，我有好多事还没陪他一起做，我还没买许多美食让他享用，还有还有。。。
太快，难以接受，上星期出院时人还好好的，这么现在已经在死亡之道徘徊？
妈告诉我，医生说：“开到不开刀也会死”。
生命很脆弱，命运也很不公平，人就是这么的现实。
我很遗憾，遗憾现在的自己没有能力给他更好的生活。
我想请假陪陪他。。（但手头上有好多的工作没完成，怎么办？）
还没经历过亲人的离逝，但我也不想经历，常常告诉自己，不要在亲人离你而去时才哭个稀里哗啦，平时就应用心去对待身边每一人。我真的真的好爱我的亲人～

今天放工时的心情很不愉快，有太多太多的工作没完成，我还不容易才清完30个cases。。现在又来十余的cases等着我去做，明天至少5个。救命啊！我实在受不了～
stress， stress， stress！！how to handle such high volume of works? Relieve other plus do own officers' given cases, walao eh~ I already think I have did my best part, and I keep control my mood my emotion during work to avoid burst out like previous time.

不断地告诉自己，凡事要以乐观的心态的面对。
不断地告诉自己，勇敢去追寻梦想，因为我现在有的是青春的本钱。跌倒了再爬起来，不怕。

I don't know

2010-06-12T16:29:00.002+08:00

Don't know.. I don't know how to comfort someone I love when he/she is sad and down
Perhaps for me cool down alone is the best method to cure sadness. And dear always choose to leave me alone when I have an unpleasant phone chat with him or when we are quarrelling. To him, cool down first then only solve the problem can avoid many unpleasant things from happen, etc break up. (Ya, maybe this is the best way to treat me although I don't like his way) When there's no one beside me to listen my reason (chanting and backstabbing someone), I blog. When internet server down till unable me to blog, cool down perhaps the most effective way for me to adjust my mood. Ya, last post still angry-ing on something and perhaps a little bit angry with someone, but now (after few hours) my anger gone. Everything is fine for me already.
Mom is very sad now, last time I used to stay beside her, comfort her and give my piece of advice, but now, I do nothing say nothing.. She feel angry with me too because when I came back from work and showing busuk face and keep silent. I'm sorry but that time I angry till can't talk. If I talk, sure many hurting poison words come out from my sexy mouth

I'm satisfy with my new blog's theme ♥♥♥

Bad mood

2010-06-12T14:49:00.000+08:00

As the title shown, my mood is down down down.. angry

I hate rely on someone.. I hate I have no ability to do something by my own.

I really dislike to rely on someone, especially on transportation matters.

Ot-ing just now.. I have mountain of works yet to complete. Planning to clear majority of it on today, but I can't do it at last. Hate! I angry with SL.. If can I really don't want follow her. Mom sure ask me to follow her car back, because she don't want go to Klang to fetch me back, waste her time, petrol money, scare traffic jam, and blablabla~ (thus everytime ot if mom fetch I sure have to listen she chanting) So, I follow SL go since she have her own car at this beginning of month. Knew her altitude. I really feel that she is a superb stubborn person. What she have decided or agreed with you don't ever hope to change her mind. Even though some of her statement is wrong. So, when the moment she said want go back I say nothing just to follow her wish. But I'm angry. Just ot for 4hours only and I even clear half of my pending works then I need to shut down my pc and go back. 30 files to clear you know? If both of us change character, sure you will be asking me to ot some more. Hate Hate Hate. Since your started to fetch me, you never consider of me. You just consider of your own self. You so selfish! I paid you car fare, although is not much, but can you at least once follow my wish? Ok, perhaps I didn't tell you what I want, so you just follow yours. But just now I think I have very clearly shown that I want to ot more, then what's your respond? Sharp sharp 1.20 already asking me finish packing or not. Then some more tell me "Or you want your mom to fetch you". Okay, follow your wish. I actually want ask you to ot half an hour more but at last I decide not to tell you my wish. End up angry sendiri...Then you still like don't know anything happen still ask me "why emo-ing? gaduh with bf?" Lolx

I not dare to offend anyone of my friends in office. And I end up angry alone no one know the reason. Anyone can advice me?

Sorry

2010-05-19T21:30:00.002+08:00

Feel unhappy just now..but already adjust back to my normal mood..
A tiny mini small thing - a bunch of I really appreciated girls' gathering which without me.
Perhaps that day one of them got called me but I too tired d so didn't go at last..

Think back, ask myself.. Who am I? I received the answer from my bottom heart...

Ya, it's true. ~~I mean nothing to them~~.. ~~not best friend nor good friend.. Just friend only~~..
I have been estranged from them since high school form 4 time.. Even last time I used to call her as best friend now we also like stranger.. Didn't contact each other for too long of time.. I know it's my fault. I am the main factor who caused all these. Last time I used to think that I don't need many friends in my world, I think I can be alone, never treat one sincerely. Now, after graduated... I realised the importancy of friends. Last time I used to throw out all my unsatisfactory to a guy which always phoned me when I felt down or bored. That time I really think that guy is easier to communicate to compare a girl, slightly affected by my mom also. Some more I don't need to take the initiative to find someone to talk to because there is always someone who will listen to my words. But, after a guy is in a relationship he no longer phone you or sms-ing you like last time. Does pure friendship (best friend type) exist between guy and girl? My answer is NO.

I wish to have a best best girl friend to accompany me. Share my rejoice, talk secret together, goes through the unhappy moment with me...
I don't want to stick to boy friend only. Boy friend has his own life circle too and same do I.

I apologise for all my wrong ~~statement~~ concept last time.

Missing... In desert

2010-05-17T23:11:00.001+08:00

I am just a simple girl. (I feel) Not request much from you. Perhaps what i hoping from you is the hardest thing that a guy can give to a girl. I used to be always compare, compared the way you treat me last time and current. But at least i think now i have minimise to make the comparison.
Ya, i did angry about you. The more proper words to describe my feeling should be 'heart-colded-down again'... If can, i will avoid to phone you. Still remembered last time you subscribed the same caller ringtone for us is because i like the song. You hope me can hear the song i like everytime i phone you. I felt sweet and warm. Tonight, shocked.. Your caller ringtone changed without my notice. Why? Why never told me? Its mean a lot to me K? I know it mean nothing to you. I ended our conversation very soon then after and didnt tell you my feeling just because i think i wont change anything. What point i told you my feeling and make you unreluctantly to subscribe the older caller ringtone? I just hope you can discuss with me. Maybe i am too sensitive. Even this small thing i also want to angry. But, i think from this i can see more clearly how important am I to you. Short semester break, you din plan anything for us, you said transportation, financial, and some other reasons. You said if you owned a car everything will be different. Our life wont be so dull.. For me, if you really want nothing is impossible.. Treat you with hot passion, I feel you still that cool even though you said you are not. Try to leave you aside, I feel you started to get use to the way and more cool to me. What to do? I lost...

Tips for going summer vacation

2010-05-09T18:13:00.014+08:00

How to Choose Sunscreen - wikiHow
How to Stay Safe in the Sun - wikiHow
How to Treat a Sunburn - wikiHow

Forms of sunscreen

Lotion and sprays are not messy, so they are convenient for the scalp with scarce hair or hairy skin.
Creams and gels do not flow, so they are convenient for the face.
Sticks are thick, and thus convenient for the eyelids or lips (lip-screen).
Powders are convenient for oily skin.
A sunscreen with moisturizer is convenient for dry skin.

Who should not use a Sunscreen?

Sunscreens should not be used:

In infants before 6 months of age
By persons with an allergic reaction to particular sunscreen
In intense sunburn with blisters
In oozing skin infections
On skin areas near open wounds
So, which sunscreen to use?
Characteristics of good sunscreen:
SPF at least 15
Broad-spectrum (UVA + UVB protection)
Not irritating your skin (check ingredients, use intuition) (test in on your wrist)
Feels comfortable (use appropriate form of sunscreen, read above)
How to Remember to reapply Sunscreen

Step1
Take a Digital Watch.
Set your watch to sound an alarm every two hours. If you are swimming, then set it for every hour just to be safe. If you don't have a digital watch, you can pick one up very cheaply. If you buy a cheap one, you won't have to worry if it gets sand or water in it.

Step2
Set Your Cell Phone Alarm.
Almost everyone has a cell phone these days, and chances are you'll take it to the beach with you too. Most cell phones have alarms that can be set. If you think yours doesn't, take a look at it, you may find a feature you didn't even know was there.

Step3
Use a Kitchen Timer.
This works really well at home, but can also be used at the beach too. Again the advantage of a kitchen timer is that they are really cheap to buy and you don't have to worry if it gets damaged by water or sand.

Step4
Buy a UV Monitoring Device.
There are several commercial products available that will monitor the amount of UV rays you are absorbing. These range from bracelets such as the UVSunSense wristband to stickers you place on the skin.
If you are worried about these devices leaving a tan line, then simply place them on something that will be exposed to the sun, such as your beach bag or

Thank You

2010-05-05T23:14:00.000+08:00

My belated birthday gift. Thanks to all of them who shared to buy me this gift.
Thanks Siew Li, Su Theng, Sharon, Swee Yee, Wendy, Jin Mei, Ms Chia, Ms Lai, Joanne, Ellen, Ms Tee, Ah Lok, Ronnie, Haikal and Kak Zuria, really appreciated. =D

Zip

2010-05-05T22:56:00.001+08:00

I want to zip my mouth..
Don't want any bad words come out from my mouth anymore.
Really tired of keep criticizing people that make you dislike at a particular moment. Not only people who complain tired; people who hear your complain also be tired.
So, from now onwards, will self-practise just to praise people who give me a feel that are well-behaved and responsible. Sorry dear, for contaminated your ears these few days. Keep complaining others will only show people that how low IQ and EQ I have.

Medical Leave

2010-05-03T20:59:00.004+08:00

Yes, as the title shown above, I mc today..
Feel guilty when taking mc.. but really not feeling well.. dizzy, energy-less..
Lol~ why my unit so lack of clerk.. today mc tomorrow sure mountain of work waited for me to complete..
Can u imagine, one clerk under 2 officers??? My unit got only 2 clerks 4 officers. Mean if I am not around Zai, who going to relieve me has to doing releases for 4 officers. (Last time when I first joined is 1 clerk under 1 officer only, now HQ don't want to take clerical any more).. I'm sorry for not turning up to work. Feel really stress.. high volume of works.. never feel free from the moment I can handle the work till now.. Last month, April consider ok ady for me, although the work given still a lot.. Hope that this month the releases won't be too much since I'm going to pulau perhentian with my chinese colleagues during public holidays and if possible I want take one day leave after the trip..
Wish myself recover soon. And hope all people I knew stay healthy always.

The greatest wealth is health!
He who has health, has hope. And he who has hope, has everything.

BIrthday to me

2010-05-03T20:31:00.000+08:00

Officially stepped into 20s now.. Any changes of mine? Previously I keep saying of want change myself, dislike my work, dissatisfy with my current life, wish to get involve into education world again, etc... But, can people around me notice that I have changed - become wiser, mature...???

I wish I always remember this quote which I have displayed it on my phone's wallpaper:-
Our destiny changes with our thought, we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thoughts correspond with our desire
Your thought affect your life, your day & your reaction. To be success or failure, it depends on how you think. I want to be optimistic, happy-go-lucky yet have a passion of something in my life.. As long as you found your interest, you know where to go..

Birthday - mom's suffer day
27 April 2010, fell on Tuesday. I did not take leave on that day, decided to work as I thought that nothing special will happen on me. That week is my unit pick-up-phone week too, so "lucky" me.. Days before my big day I still in a very big anger, keep complained someone that I really dislike to some of my to colleagues, mom and dear..The person that spoiled my mood (sometimes) is one of my officer - Ms T..
Here I don't want to backstap her once more.. But in my mind, I have told myself to treat her just as officer, my relationship with her is just officer and clerk, no more beyond than that.. Last time I still be friend with her, now no more.. Although my anger towards her had gone..

Morning, preparation before going work, I late awake, so my plan can't carry on perfectly. Thought if got enough time I want ensure my appearance and outlook is perfect, if can, make a light make up on my face. =P. But, in the end - rush rush rush.. So, no mood again.. Going work with a busuk face @.@

Have a surprise.. I received a gift from Malay colleague.. From Siti - my officer, Zai & Sedah.. thanks them

Ms Suzanna as Head of CAC gave me b'day card & chocolate (sport club's idea - one of the way to appreciate all the co-workers)

Lunch time, my gang - Siew Li and Jin Mei accompany me to choose b'day cake. I thought want to treat them but at last they keeping saying that many want to share buying this cake to me, thank you all of u here..
Time to going back, have a surprise again.. From Ah yan, a guy which is so kind-hearted and I appreciate, and also Eswary, million thanks to two of them. Yours effort I have received =D

Cake of my choice.. celebrate before end of working hour..

Cake from Ah Yan and Eswary =D

cookies given by dear Sook Chan, Joyin, Yuen Yee and Pei Shen

This year birthday compare to last, less something but in the meantime I gained something too.
Last year during my birthday I took leave, dear did gave me a shock of my life, asked my friends out to celebrate birthday with me. Think back, if not because of dear calling them out do I got this chance to celebrate my birthday with my friends? I have always been the very inactive person among my friends.
Dear did not give me any surprise and gift this year, we just going out for a movie only. But what I have gained in my thought is I can see who's the person who remember me and have make effort to light up my day. Thanks Ah Yan and Eswary, thanks my colleague, Siew Li, Sharon, Su Theng, Wendy, Swee Yee, Jin Mei, Zai, Siti, Sedah, etc.., thanks Jo Yinn, Sook Chan, Yuen Yee and Pei Shen.. thanks you all..
I wish to join the bunch of girls watching movie together =)

-The End

Good advice indeed

2010-03-20T18:57:00.000+08:00

I just read through one popular blogger's post. I like his post. Simple, easy read through yet message clearly delivered. He is a speaker. Below are the advice he gave to the fresh graduate about what to expect after high school.

When choosing a college course, it is vital to think of it as something you don’t mind doing for the rest of your lives.

Nowadays people can become “celebrities” in not just entertainment, but also in cooking, interior design and *cough* blogging. As long as you have the passion for it, success and money shall naturally follow.

“The moral of the story is. Choose something YOU want to do. Not something your parents want you to do.”

Time and money, which one you can sacrifice?

2010-03-20T18:39:00.002+08:00

I'm here again.. but today will not express my bad mood here..
Forget about all the unhappy events.. Since all these will only make me more

Yesterday went to replace my lost identity card. Luckily I managed to do it within a short period of time..
JPN opened at 8am and I went there about 8.10am.. My working time start at 8.45am.. Quickly took the number and waited for my turn. I need to wait for 30more people then will only reach my turn. I feel grateful because my office just opposite Tabung Haji. I just need to cross one road to go back to office when working time started and go to JPN there to do IC after an hour. Time saved a lot. Actually the day before - Thursday I already went to apply. I took half day leave and asked my mom to accompany me during the process to redo IC but at last do nothing. Time wasting and everything like a mess for me.. Sweat!

Story begun... Since this week is school holiday so I already applied half day leave in order to convenient my mom to come with me for IC reapplication. Finished my duty at 1.15pm and mom already waited me downstairs. After turned round and round we lastly found one parking place. Going into JPN then we just realized that it is closed during lunch hour which is from 1pm until 2pm. We then planned to have our lunch at restaurant nearby. Returned to JPN at 2.10pm and then I before queueing up to get number already can feel the crowded surrounding. So many people there and I have to wait for almost 70 people then only will reach my turn. Waited and waited... time flies... Lastly reached my turn.. I showed my police report to the worker there and it returned to me with a shock news. I didn't aware that the police report can be so important. Last time when I went to make report I already told the police that I purse had been stolen.. Not careless lost. But my police report there stated "tercicir" and it did't mentioned my purse was suspected to be stolen then I have to be charged for penalty for RM110-00. Of course I don't want to pay so much. So, need to return to amend my report again.. Waited for almost 2hours and back with nothing. Feel so sad and blamed myself for so unaware. And at night I went to police station to redo my report again. 1hours spent there.. Really time wasting..

My mind keep popped out of a word that my friend told me last time, he said he rather waste money and he don't want to waste time. Time is so precious to him. But my reaction towards yesterday circumstance showed that I rather wasting my time and I don't want to waste my $$$. Lol.. time is precious for me too~

As an advice for all my friends, please do take care of your belongings and if really so unfortunate that you have lost your important documents or stuff, when making police report, please checked again and again before you sign on the report. Do not feel hesitate to ask the police to amend if you feel the message or reason is not clearly stated. Report which you already made cannot be amended since you already singed as you agree & you are considered cheated if you want to amend your report.

2010-03-16T23:22:00.001+08:00

Feel like got something want to say.. bored bored bored.. tired.. so many things yet to do.. skip!
Need go bed rest now.. clear up my mind before go sleep..
Before that, where's my Johnson baby soft lotion which I used to apply it on my feet before go bed sleep? I misplaced again!!!

2010-03-13T17:00:00.001+08:00

Feel that my blog so sad, contain all unhappy sad elements...
It's just a way for me to release all my stress, my sad feeling...
Normally when I'm happy I don't blog. Weird human being which just remembered all sad things..

Who will be the one beside me when I'm sad? I'm too relying on people.. Always can't make decision myself. I know it's benefit if you can be independent. This kind of people must have confident towards themselves, not easily influence by others, some more must good in control their emotion. I admit I'm not even have one of the mentioned characteristic.Someone please come to change me. I want to be success, in career as well as handling a relationship. Why I can't achieve that? Why all these seems so far away from me?

Choose a course to study, takes so much time from me to make decision. Why can't I make decision myself in a shortest time without listen to others' word? Thanks a lot to Swee Yee, she keep pushing me ask me to further my study. Sometimes really feel touching feel grateful if someone I'm not very closed with care me so much. The one I expect for always not come to me when I facing problem.. I just know I'm very interest with things relate to beauty and I hope to work for beauty. Own beauty as well. My ideal work that always appear in my dream is a job that high emphasis on ownself beauty. A job that emphasis on appearance so that I won't be lazy to take care of my outlook one day. I want to ensure myself to be always slim, skin very good even when my age increases as years passed.. I want to study, because I don't want myself to stop at secondary school level only. I need some cert in my hand. What kind of course that really suits me?

谁来改变我？

2010-03-13T16:27:00.000+08:00

讨厌讨厌讨厌讨厌！我讨厌他！
就是要跟他发脾气，就是要关机！
我讨厌你！！！！
哪来那么多时间陪我，每次说要很容易似的，真的真的很生气！
很多时候真的很不想在一起。家人都说我很任性，我不管了。。
你在金宝能陪我聊电话的时间已经少之又少了，一次比一次还忙，我不想再听什么体谅之类的话了。我做不到！！！我不要再体谅！！不要再认为你是最好的了！！我经不起远距离恋爱的考验！！我以后也不敢再恋爱了！！我不懂也不适合！！！
你回来陪我，我最后还是跟你以吵架收场，我真的觉得很气。
我好任性，好幼稚。。。干嘛要为这种事在生气，不过我也不想再顺着你的时间来谈恋爱了。
我感觉不到你是否在乎我。

品味不同，我想推荐你听一首歌都难，所以前天当你想分享一首歌给我时我故意一口气拒绝了。
为什么我想影响你一点小事都难？我讨厌。。。
想读书，要求你的意见，你就建议我读PUBLIC RELATION。身边的家人朋友个个都说不适合我。每次听你的意见后，我都会反驳你，但可以不要回应我“既然你觉得不适合，那干嘛要问我！”我就想从你哪儿拿到肯定。你说，我适合是因为我有样子（有吗？），不善于沟通但可以练出来的，读这课可可以大大提升我的自信心。我就是不敢完全相信你的话。

今天我又在为掌握在自己手中的爱情涂上灰色。。。。。。

内涵

2010-03-03T22:49:00.000+08:00

侯佩岑说：“心目中有一种女人很美。她有智慧，有内涵，懂得吃东西，喜欢旅游，有想法，爱说话。这种女人会放声大笑也会喝醉，她会流泪也会与别人理论，她有梦想也有现实的压力，她看是优越的骄傲中，也一样透露着渴望。”好赞同她的话，这种女人真的很美丽。她们有自信，也从未质疑过自己的美丽。

我今天又有心事了，月事来潮加上最近的一些不如意，好想有个人可以陪陪我～

他最近很忙似的，根本无法陪我。我俩的简讯少了，通话也减少了，我不想又在为这些看似不必要的事而跟他闹脾气。我想，自己在他心中的印象应该也够差了吧。他也承认我脾气暴躁。。

不说了，安静有时候会比较好。。。

可是，我在公司已经很静了，因为根本不想将公事以外的话。。。

Complicated feel in a day

2010-03-01T00:19:00.002+08:00

How should I describe my mood now? sad? happy? moody?
Many things happened in one day, 28th February, is it a significant day for me? I don't know..
Noticed had losing my purse, ($$$ flies, important documents (IC, P License & Debit card), membership cards gone missing), checked through all the possible area that I might put my purse in my house, called to swimming centre to confirm any losing purse found, went to police station made report - all these things should be enough to cause my mood down..
This afternoon, went to Sue Hue's house to celebrate Kok Seong's early birthday. Sue Hue had putted a lot of effort in the preparation of KS birthday party. She cooked spaghetti, nuggets, dessert, etc and ordered domina's pizza this early morning and ensure of many of us attend this party (many can't come due to work) but no expose this news to anyone because she want to give KS a surprise. I hope I can be like her, design and plan some surprise for my beloved. I have been quite moodless when in her house cause that time I just noticed my purse missing.
Something to be happy to share now, after done my reports I followed my mom to Aeon Jusco to fetch my sister from work. I asked my mom to accompany me to Carlorino because I planned to buy a handbag (branded but not too expensive) for my mom for her birthday. My budget actually is around 200++ only because my ability is until that only. I try not to let mom know my plan and just ask her view. But mom know the price is kinda expensive for her cause she never buy any expensive thing for her ownself. She just simply looked through the bags displayed there without giving me a proper idea. Know why I can managed to buy the bad on the spot? Haha, the salesgirl told me got promotion on 15% on those new arrival handbag if I'm a Jcard holder or member and it is valid until today only. Without thinking so much, I told my mom my plan and ask her to choose one bag that she like. Stayed at the shop for more than 30 minutes just for mom to choose a handbag that she really like. I'm happy at the moment because mom can at the choosing the pattern that suits her. I know my mom is happy when she knew I want give her a handbag. At last, mom choose a white colour simple look handbag and the price after discount is RM300++. Happy, because mom liked it.
One thing unfortunate happened after that, my younger brother lost the parking card. We tried to look around but at last failed to find. If lose parking card have to pay RM20 or above as penalty. So, I suggested an idea for mom, which is to follow any car which want to exit after insert the paid parking card with a very close diatant so that the machine there unable scan through and the "tiang" won't lie down and hit our car. I heard one of my guy friend said before. He using this way when there is less people. Mom and last using my idea and very luckily we passed. =D So, mood changed from sad to happy again.
As conclusion, how do i describe my mood today if someone ask me? My answer will be "it's complicated"

My report (sad >.<) & carlorino membership card (happy =D)

Mom loved this bag because it got few layer to put things

I don't want to lose my belonging anymore!

2010-02-28T19:17:00.000+08:00

I lost my purse yesterday night when swimming at 3K..
Hate the thief very very much, I want curse her become poor in her future life!
The year before last I lost my mobile phone which my mom gave me, last year I lost my mobile phone which mom bought to me, this year I lost my purse which dear gave me during my birthday 2 years ago.. I don't mind if my $$ inside gone missing, I just want back my IC, P License, Debit card...... Please return back to me if anyone have found.. >0<
I don't want to take this as a lesson.. I hate my belonging went missing.. Really hope I have overlooked and it is actually at somewhere in my house..
Moody...
Dear busy doing revision...
Everyone is busy...
Help me safe me~

My Career Planner Personality Type Test's Result at careerplanner.com

2010-02-25T23:41:00.003+08:00

(Note : Just for my own references, =D)

ISTJ's are described as:

Introverted and reserved

Enjoys spending time alone more than meeting new people

Prefers to have a few close friends rather than a large number of friends

In a room full of strangers will tend to be more quiet

Typically avoids being the center of attention

Hard to know what they are thinking. You will have to ask them what they are thinking.

Down to earth, practical, realisitc

Detail oriented

Prefers dealing with facts, data, news and information about concrete real things or real people

Tends to focus and concentrate on what is happening around them at the moment

Very aware of one's physical environment i.e. what they are hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, tasting

Likes real, concrete information more than ideas, concepts and speculation

Enjoys physical, hands on activities and probably has quick reflexes

Good memory for facts, details, numbers, people

Prefers to deal with solid issues, does not like ambiguity, does not like the unknown

Objective, logical and analytical

Can be impersonal at times, can appear cold and uncaring

Thick-skinned, not very sensitive

May be hard to get to know

More concerned that things make logical, objective sense than what other people think

More concerned with logic and what makes sense than what people say is right or wrong

Being well organized is very important

Being on time for meetings and appointments is extremely critical

Plans, schedules, goals and deadlines are critical for achieving success

Sticking to the plan is critical for achieving one's goals

Prefers to get things done well ahead of deadlines, hates to wait until the last minute

Life is a series of 15 minute time slots that are to be utilized effectively and efficiently

http://www.careerplanner.com/PT/SelfSelect-VarType.cfm?PType=ISTJ

ISTP's are described as:

Introverted and reserved

Enjoys spending time alone more than meeting new people

Prefers to have a few close friends rather than a large number of friends

In a room full of strangers will tend to be more quiet

Typically avoids being the center of attention

Hard to know what they are thinking. You will have to ask them what they are thinking.

Down to earth, practical, realisitc

Detail oriented

Prefers dealing with facts, data, news and information about concrete real things or real people

Tends to focus and concentrate on what is happening around them at the moment

Very aware of one's physical environment i.e. what they are hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, tasting

Likes real, concrete information more than ideas, concepts and speculation

Enjoys physical, hands on activities and probably has quick reflexes

Good memory for facts, details, numbers, people

Prefers to deal with solid issues, does not like ambiguity, does not like the unknown

Objective, logical and analytical

Can be impersonal at times, can appear cold and uncaring

Thick-skinned, not very sensitive

May be hard to get to know

More concerned that things make logical, objective sense than what other people think

More concerned with logic and what makes sense than what people say is right or wrong

Being organized is not all that important

Experiencing as many things a possible is extremely important

Plans, schedules and goals are sometimes useful but not critical for enjoying life

Being flexible and adaptable is critical to enjoying life

With so many things to do, projects usually don't get finished until the last minute

Life is a continuos, flowing process

http://www.careerplanner.com/PT/SelfSelect-VarType.cfm?PType=ISTP

In my view, I think I'm more closed to ISTP type. With this kind of personality, what type of career is most suitable for me??? I'm thinking hard to choose a course to study.

2010-02-22T00:38:00.000+08:00

Must amend the older post here, dear did gave me a lovely present during Valentine. He purposely cheated me because he don't want me to spend money and buy gift for him.
Feel lazy to update this memorable event now, will update once feel free.
Oya, today just met with my secondary school's friends. Yee Chong, Wei Ling, Teck Chong, Meng Zhang and Kim Pel and her super cute sister. Went for a movie (comedy) and have dessert together...... Long time didn't see them, appreciate the moment together. Sadly, I didn't take any photos. I want a digital camera, wanna take down all the moment being with people I love, I care, I appreciate..

习惯

2010-02-11T21:19:00.001+08:00

刚吃完晚饭。。此时此刻的心情是怎样的呢？有少许失落，伤心。。。

放工一回到家，第一件做的事就是冲进妈妈的房间，拿起手机，拨打着老公的电话号码，好一段时间没这样做了，所以心情是无比的兴奋。是情绪化吗？我的心情真的变化的好快，可以从开心的心情因为别人的一句话而转换成难过。跟他投诉了繁忙的工作后，我跟他谈起了情人节的礼物。有情人的同事们纷纷为她们的另一半买了情人节礼物，还未准备礼物的我听了也好期待自己会送的礼物。下午跟一位曾经很要好的男性朋友的吃午餐，顺道聊起了他的感情状况。好羡慕他那稳定又不失甜蜜的感情。我很想念我的那个他，虽然我并没有很好的表现出来。两个星期没见面了，通话也从每晚临睡前必定的一通因我俩繁忙的工作和课业而取消了，我其实也很难过的。可以不要变成习惯吗？我对感情没什么憧憬，不相信Happy Ending最后会落在我身上，在感情方面我真的很没有自信。
情人节礼物，所真的，我原本没有打算买，因为当天我知道不能和他渡过，他要跟他家人去亲戚家拜年。我新年会怎样渡过呢了？新年的回忆不会有他吧，没跟他渡过，也没去过他家。我曾经很羡慕周遭要男朋友的朋友，为什么她们能和男方的家人相处的那么愉快而我却没正式与他家人相处过。是我太害羞吗？我条件很差吗？曾经希望他家人主动些，算了吧，这点我现在不在意也不积极了，最重要是我要成功（作为女强人）。回到正题 - 情人节礼物。昨天没课，所以他和一班朋友去怡保逛逛，说是要为我准备情人节礼物，我听了内心深出好不兴奋。所以也开始紧张起我还未准备的那份礼物。。。
眼泪不听使唤的流了下来，当他很正经告诉我不要买他的礼物，因他没有买给我（钱花完了，所以下次在补偿）。情人节当天也肯定不能陪我。。你不再紧张我了吗？为什么都不会像以前一样疯狂的在乎我？不要，我不要这些都变成习惯！！！
我怕，有时候想起来真的很难过，为什么刚开始可以那么黏我，黏得我喘不过气；现在呢，到我常常埋怨他不黏我。理由，我听了很多，我也试着去体谅了。。妈妈也说要体谅，救命啊～
难道每段感情最后都会‘进化’到这程度吗？这就是所谓的从情人关系升华到家人关系吗？但是，我们才两年，还没到这程度啊！现在就这样了那我们的以后呢？
情场高手，请来教我，我不会。。我不要。。我也不想自己的胡思乱想害了这段感情。虽然很平静，没有什么狂风大浪，但，有些时候这些平静让我觉得更可怕。。

Thank you, Mom

2010-02-07T23:51:00.001+08:00

"Super women"- this is what people who knew my mum will describe her.
I'm always a naughty, selfish, bad daughter for mum, always fight her back with words when I'm in moody and fail to get something I want from her.
This bad daughter recently is worrying of her worse skin condition, begging her mum to bring her to beauty salon . Mum don't want her to spend unnecessary money, so, she many times refused to bring her go. This thing happened again today. But this time is really a fate, the beauty salon that mum lastly nodding her head to bring her daughter go closed. So, mum knew her daughter is sad of the recently pimples skin and she brought her daughter to skin care counter at shopping complex. Took daughter to a skin care counter under beauty de kose product. And lastly bought her (owe first, need to pay back) a product that hopefully really suits her daughter skin. The daughter perhaps had experience in buying expensive products that not suitable to her skin and as consequence many pimples pop out. She now has no confidence in trying any products and just hope her skin can recover in the shortest time. She has got some lesson now and not dare to trying and MIXING (use diff brand products) any products without knowing its function properly.
Think back of her behaviour towards her loving mum, she regrets. She deeply know that what mum do for her all is for her own good. Thanks mummy, I love you very much. Really hope I got the ability to buy many good products for you to pamper yourself. Really hope one day I can let you enjoy or live under materialistic lifestyle since you have been so hard to raise up 5 children. I want to be a proud daughter in your eyes. And I want my skin to be recover soonest so that your effort not wasted. Love you Mummy.

scare..worry..

2010-02-07T16:53:00.000+08:00

The thing that u keep thinking of, want it desperately...
The more u hope it to happen, the greatest possibility it will not happen to you..
Its that true? I'm really scare, really worry, feel unsafe. Feel worry, anyone can motivate me?
I care how ppl think of me, how to be ego-centric? Live under ppl thought is hard.. I hope I cen be optimistic, learning, how sometimes keep falls down.. pain, heart pain, spirit tired, fatigue, wanna give up..
I don't want to be like this, for me, my life now is sucks!!! Meaningless.. Because I fail to do things I want. Perhaps I'm having what I want already, it just under discover..
Don't give me respond that sounds wanna give up me, I don't like.. U keep saying don't know what I'm thinking of, why always moody without reason, hard to predict.. Don't like this, I'm sad too.. I just scare and feeling unsafe..

Feeling

2010-02-03T20:59:00.001+08:00

Feel moody feel unhappy, feel like don't want to open my mouth to talk tonight......
I dislike and hate to be neglected by my people I knew. Why I can't make people feel special and unforgettable?
Too quite? Too nice person? I think what I need to most is create my own personality. Normally too kind people will not get much attention from people around. And yet, they are soon to be forgotten. (Its true, I usually will easily forget people that have not clear or special personalities)
Lunched with Sharon today, only we both. I feel not so comfortable at the beginning since I'm not that talkative and rare talk with her alone. Sharon, older than me 6years old, a pretty OL girl. She is the second prettiest lady in my office, the first is Wendy. They think I'm like a quite little girl and this has eventually caused a gaps between me and them. I don't know why I can make them feel like this because in my view, there will be no gaps of different age, it just depends of the person altitude only. (Me and Sharon once finished our lunch straight headed to office, we used 30 plus mins over hour to have our lunch, can see how bored I am? normally if one bunch of girls lunch together sure will used exactly one hour to chit chat-ing, gossiping, etc.. then only wiling to consume work)
Frankly, I hope I can be special for all the people I knew. I wish to leave a good impression in everyone of the people I appreciate. During my secondary school time, I'm already quite enough, which caused my friends even also don't know how to describe me besides than put those "good, quite, soft girl" in me. Sigh~
Today after working time ended I very soon left office. Feel don't want to stay the place that make myself mentally and physically tired, fatigue. (Although at last I brought back my office work home) Too much responsibilities to carry on, feel hard to breathe. Insurance maintenance, progressive releases, filing, photocopying documents, preparing letters, follow up by call, performing at system when issue cheque and debit or credit some account, all these works require to fully concentrate perform. I already get to used to the things I need to do, but what makes me really feel tired and sometimes so hope to escape is the excessive tasks given. Really hard to describe about my high volume works, One word to say, I hate to do those paper works. I really hope can learn new thing and change to new environment. Already one year plus 3 months I've been serviced in Eon Bank, Credit Administration Centre.
This coming 28th, 29th & 30th May I will going to Pulau Perhentian with my colleagues. Go there by taking MAS plane. Hope that will be an enjoyable moments for all of us who joining this trip. Plan to get myself a digital camera so that can snap down all the memorable scene myself. (Haha, I'm not sure I can afford to buy one or not because my demand is big, a lot of stuffs make me so wanted to own.)
Feel much more comfortable after "vomiting" out all my most inner side feeling which make me feel shame to tell others by using my mouth, phew~
Some words for myself. Dear Siew Theng, stay happy and cheer all the time. Boost up your confidence double triple and more and more, be more prettier as time goes by, I want to be an over confident girl (shout)! I want to have my own personality! I want to be special and make others at my own stage rather than i appear at other people stage. Jia You =D

2010-01-31T23:48:00.004+08:00

Many heart feeling want to share here..Ehm, I will just make it short.
Recently, I got tried facebook's Anita's prediction. Its a prediction regarding your future and luck. Don't know why, I feel the result quite accurate and I believe that. I seriously need someone's help to tell me where and how to start to do thing that I really want. Really really need to make some changes in this whole new year.
Below are my prediction.
Anita said:

''Pansy Pua honey, your aims and ambitions will be stronger than ever before - for you really want to achieve something in this life. Well, now's the time to start - for sheer determination and hard work will put you where you want to be. Honor and prestige await you.''

''Pansy Pua darling, it's an excellent day for doing a rethink on your career plans. You may also try to focus on your dietary habits to ensure good health.''

'Pansy Pua sweetheart, you should pay due attention to your need for rest.''

''Pansy Pua honey, there are opportunities for deep sharing, and powerful, meaningful contacts with others, especially people who share common goals or ideals.''

Sounds childish perhaps u will think since I believe the prediction. But, I just try to make this as power words to push and encourage myself to go nearer to what I want for. Really hope I can achieve my dream. Dear knows me well, he clearly knows that I'm such a low confident girl which sometimes also need someone's praise then only can enlighten my day. He not understand why I always being so low self-esteem. Feel not satisfy of my skin condition, appearance, career, etc.. Seems like I'm a too not easily contented person until make my ownself feel bad. My english too, really need to improve my english in writing and oral. (see, feel disatisfy again me)

Tommorow, blue Monday again.. mountain of works for me to do.. feel really tired.. really hope tomorrow not much 1st release given from officers so that I can do my progressive release (billing from developer to claim for certain construction stage) Many of my progressive already exceed our own turnaround time (10 days). Too many works to do until my superior at last also said we just complete our work based on developer's due date instead of our own turnaround time. If can, I wish I could preform faster and faster..

God bless.

Last thing to note here to remind myself : I really need to diet. I cannot gain weight anymore. And I dislike my big face, look ugly when photograph. How to make my face texture look sharper and slimmer?

Good night all my friends and dear, wanna prepere myself to go bed now. Hope every tomorrow will be better and better. Hope my skin condition improve day per day. Hope I can be prettier as time goes by. Hope my knowledge will increases every day. Muacks, I appreciate all of you sincerely. Love all the people I know and must learn to love myself. Wanna be ego-centric. Love dear so so so much.

2010-01-24T18:25:00.000+08:00

My dream car - Suzuki Swift

Love this car with silky silver metallic..

When can I own this?

相信

2010-01-24T15:43:00.000+08:00

这回我想说的相信，不是爱情，而是自己。对，相信自己
我想，世上没有东西是我们学不会的吧！
说有的事物都掌握在我们的手中。
我虽然算是个自信心蛮低的人，但某些东西，我还是对自己的能力有所肯定。
我相信只要是我想学的东西，只要我肯放进一切心思，我一定能做的很好。
包礼物，看似容易，但起初我真的不会，还用了一段时间来学，同行的朋友都笑我笨，但最终我还不是可以拿捏得很好，甚至比某些人还要出色。
也因此，我相信我做得到，虽然用的时间或许比你们长。
请大家给我一点耐心吧！

1st post of year 2010

2010-01-03T18:03:00.002+08:00

Korean drama - Flower Four accompany me during my holidays included Christmas & New Year..
Seems like I started to addict to it =)
Go Jun Pyo or Lee Min Ho (artist name)- I like him damn much :D

Pimples goes uncontrolled lately, maybe is because I stayed up too late.
Changed my skin care product L'occitane to Kiehl's and Laneige.. More to hydrate function..
I'm not sure those products can improve my skin texture or vice versa.. Still under investigation.
Really hope skin can recover.. Now almost every week got new acne and pimple visit.. Lol..
I can't push it to menstruate circle since there's nil symptom.. What can I do in order to achieve an acne-free & flawless skin? I don't want (if possible) to seek beautician's advice unless my skin condition goes worse and worst..

My skin care series

Laneige - hydro gel RM120 and emulsion RM105

Origin - Out of Trouble masque RM95

Kiehl's herba toner RM110 and deep pore cleanser RM90

Neutrogena - cleansing lotion (face, lips and eyes make up remover) RM25 - RM30

Herbal line aloe vera gel RM60, pimples cream RM70, pore serum and beauty credit mint toner RM45

Really hope abovementioned products do suit me.. I spent a lot in buying those things.. Just now when watching 8tv 时代达人programme, the host interviewed a DJ of 988 - Luke about his beauty talks. He got mentioned a beauty de kose's face toner and a shiseido products, I didn't hear both of it clearly but he said that these two products are good for pimples prone skin, he started using that when his face got sudden popped out pimples due to using unsuitable face products until it went to an uncontrolled stage. These two products work efficiently and after using his pimples disappear in a very short time. I feel like want to go to those he mentioned product's counter to check out for this two amazing products and buy it.. But.... no $$$$$... God help me!!! I want my skin to be recovered after one to two weeks time.

My skin condition now [after pinched my pimples (>.<)]

New Year eve, went to jj with dear about 10.30pm.. thought of sing k or watch a movie with him that night. Unfortunately, all tickets movie that we want to watch have been sold out and all room to sing k have been booked.. So, we two just passed our time in jj, roaming around and snapshot awhile until 12++am.. What a significant New Year Eve..Mama then brought us to bkt tinggi MCD restaurant to have our first supper of the year.. First time been there.. Thumbs up for its food.. I like the lamb and chicken kebab that they give us free for try.. Price maybe pricey a bit but worth.

Snapshot while waiting for mum to fetch.

At MCD restaurant

.This dinner ended up very unhappily because at last I quarrelled with mum and youngest sister.. Sounds childish and stupid me. But I very minded when she told others and bf about my stupiak dream.. I just told my sister about this before but I don't know that she told mum pula. What caused my temper arose is when I knew my mum told her friend about this thing.. I actually forgotten already but when dined together she mentioned my dream again to bf and joking some more make me feel ashamed. I don't want anyone else know if I didn't make it.. I feel myself like a fool..

Know what happen the last? I apologized to mum for no reason. Mum got very angry with me when she saw my face still very busuk the next day. Spoiled her mood to shopping. So, an apologize from children solved all problem most efficiently.

Well, unpleasant thing that passed just let it be a past.. Hope myself can make a change in this whole new year. I really don't want to stay at current condition. Going to turn up to 20s ad, I don't want myself still stick to current lifestyle. Achieve nothing learn nothing.. so hereby I wish to state out all my wishes for this whole new year and hope people around me can notice my changes even though I might didn't realize it

1. change to better (internal & external)
2. further my study
3. more income so that can help and give mum more $$$ and able to buy thing that I want without relying on other (I wish to find a flexible working time job so that I can study while $$$ income source won't stop)
4. hope me & bf will become the sweetest couple (less quarrel and more love content pour inside =P)

2009-12-27T23:09:00.001+08:00

WISH MYSELF GOOD LUCK TOMORROW (28/12)~
SUPPOSE TO REST AT HOME OF GOING OUT SOME WHERE, BUT I NEED TO RETURN TO OFFICE TO WORK SINCE I STILL HAVEN'T FINISH MY WORK - FINAL RELEASE..
LOL, SET MYSELF FREE~
STRESS UP, DISLIKE MY TEAM MEMBER!!! I'M NOT EVEN CLOSE WITH THEM, I SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE DON'T KNOW HOW TO FACE THEM COMMUNICATE WITH THEM..

GOOD LUCK SIEW THENG, HOPE TOMORROW BY OF B4 12PM I CAN GO BACK..
DOING CHARITY WORK FOR FREE DURING MY OFF DAY..
AND HOPE I'M ENERGETIC ENOUGH TO GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND HUBBY AFTER WORK.. MUACKS, GOOD LUCK.. AND HOPE MY SKIN & HAIR CONDITION IMPROVE..
WANNA BECOME MORE AND MORE PRETTY, XD

2009-12-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

Can't recall since when I started to neglect my blog d..
Still remembered that day I decided to open a blog for myself..
Not want to attract others to read, never think of become a popular blogger.
I really can't accept people that I care criticize me, still remember that day he told me that it is not a good way to release all my feeling through blog. He dislike blog that's why he don't have a blog. His words made me decided to neglect my blog and locked it for myself only.. Feel sad and emo~

Actually so many words to say here.. But just don't know where to start..
$$$$$.. I need it.. How to earn More $$.. not highly educated so salary is low..
I think many many times d.. Think of the course that I going to take IF I'm going to pursue my study.
Public Relation..
I'm not interested in office work although I think I'm suitable in this line. Many people asked to take up Finance course since I'm now in banking line. I'm confident with myself and I believe that I can be excel in study. But, what I need truly? I love and I need a job that need to very care of my own image, outlook.. Not beautician. But, what's that job that I'm always think of since I was in primary school? Something that sounds impossible or far for me rite? I don't know.. And I scare I just think and think and never do nothing hard of achieving this one day when I will regret.. Just give myself a try.. But how and where to start?

I'm a bad bad girl.. bad temper.. Bad to boyfriend.. Sometimes I do think that is a gap between us since my status is different with him.. I working he studying.. Sure thinking will be a bit different.. What I mean here is sometimes I can't accept advice he gave me.. Nothing relates with our love.. I always hope there is someone who can be very good to me give me very good advice show me the way that I need to take up when I faced problem.. But, there's not that kind of person.. The person I always think of should be myself.. People can't satisfy all our need.. Their words are just a piece of advice for us, the decision is on our hand.

Don't know don't know again.. The blur blur girl inside my spirit appeared again.. So blur until my ex-colleague also said I'm blur blur even though I already didn't work with him.. lol.. He still said finally got a girl that is as blur as me.. haiz.. don't care.. It's my style~

Oya, I just bought some new brand skincare product for myself.. Searching hard for a solution for pore and pimples skin.. Really need to minimize my pore.. I want it to become invisible.. Kick out all pimples form my face.. I hate pimples..
$$$$$ flies.. I need to buy some more but due to financial problem so I think I just buy it in future.. Too love those skin care products.. Benefits, Kiehl's, Origin, ettusais, L'occitane, etc.. I love them so so so much and I hope one day I able to try all their good products.. Laneige, I just started to use some of its products (emulsion and water bank hydro gel).. Origin, I just bought a mask of it.. Hope I can have more $$ to buy those good skincare products..

2009-12-06T21:46:00.000+08:00

I want to be happy in positive mood and optimism all the time..
Bad mood ar bad mood, please away from me.. Please don't find me anymore. You're not welcome.
Be egocentric.. I'm learn to be..
Don't want to be so easily affected by people's words anymore. From now onwards I must make myself only receive all positive comments. Negative and unpleasant comments I will just forget and ignore.

Wish myself, cheer up all the time,

Good luck

Learn to Keep Silent... Never compare again...

2009-12-06T21:36:00.000+08:00

I know.. He hate, he dislike the moment I angry keep silent show negative emotion to him...

His guess is right, I'm blogging and express out my feeling here again..

Sometimes really anti, anti-relation, anti him.. Really dislike..

I don't want write so much here.. Don't want him to see and then give comment and criticize me in our next argue again. I still trust my feeling my sense. The way he treat me prove how deep he love me.

Anti-violence, I hate guy rude to me in words and action.

Stick.. How you defind a sweet relation? What should a guy do in order to let her girl feel warmth and being love? Is that just a close body contact (a hug) can satisfy a girl?

I must remember always.. NEVER COMPARE HIM WITH THE PAST.. Everything will change.. As long as he say his love towards me did't change then it is enough. Don't mention and never ever compare your boy with other guy friend of you. He will just be unhappy.

Silent makes perfect.. At least it can temporary cure the problem. I say how much argue with him how many times shout at him rudely at last also can't solve the problem..

From now onwards I just do all decision based on my own feel. Just care myself. Egocentric..

I will just treat you as the way you treat me..

Memorable moment

2009-12-01T23:01:00.000+08:00

I miss dear indeed so so much here..

Saturday, I went up to Kampar alone.. Haha, don't know from where I got such big courage.

Is not as scary as I thought. I reached there safety at last. Thanks a lot to my dearest mom and also a little thanks to dear here. I really have to practise to have a good time management. Due to poor time management, I have miss out 2 trains.. Actually I earlier have plan to go up Kampar as early as I can (most probably before night). But I keep on delaying delaying till I have to go there by 9.45pm de train. Reached Bukit Badak railway station around 7.05pm. Waiting for train to KL Central till 7.30pm. Mummy worries my safety because at that time got only two Indonesian guys there so she purposely waited me till the train arrived. Thank you mummy, I know you loves me and worry me. On the journey to KL Central, I sitted peacefully, closed my eyes and sometimes looked around the passengers inside train. Don't know from when Malaysia's public transport started to be crowded with those "our neighbourhood" foreign workers. Haha..

Reached KL Central about 9pm. After went pharmacy to buy things then took away my dinner at KFC. Found a seat for myself then started to have my dinner. Train to Kampar delayed to 10pm then only started to move. Everything went smoothly. My seat was at aisle. Nobody sit beside me. Is a peaceful journey for me. Oya, luckily a chinese uncle who sitted next to me after the path is going to Kampar as me too. He at least can show me & remind me the way the time to reach Kampar. He said that I'm brave, dare to come Kampar alone so late. The two small girls sitted behind me too made me feel happy, they praised me pretty. Haha.. Happy for being praise by two little girl. These few people makes my journey to Kampar at least not that bored and quiet.

Dear called an old uncle, Uncle Wong to picked me up to his residence. Uncle Wong brought me there with his old toyota. He is a talkative and funny uncle. Telling me a lot of thing during the journey to dear house.

I arrived dear house about 12.30am..

Watched movie using his pc till 6.30am then only went bed to sleep.

The next day I woke up about 9.30am to prepare myself. Then about 11something went to Tesco with dear by bikes. It's His birthday - 29November!!! XD

Dear bought some ingredients, veges and meat to use to cook later. He wanna prepare meal for me and his housemates. Not bad his skill. Really. Both hands thumb up for him. He is the best chief in his Kampar house. 4courses1soup.

Something unhappy event happened, I got no tranport to back to my hometown with dear. Dear called KTM customer service line and also KL main bus station there to check up the time depart from Kampar to Klang. Sadly, all FULL. Not even 1place left. Worried and depressed Thought of staying a night at Kampar again after 7pm since that time all the bus back to KL moved d. I called Uncle Wong intend to check with him whether can fetch me back home but also failed to reach him. Called for nth times but none get reply.

At the time when I have really made up my mind to stay Kampar and take mc the nexy day, my lovely mummy called me and brought me a good news. I'm lucky. Mumuy's friend is at Kampar now, and she will be going back to Klang after dinner. Feel touched because mom so desperately and hardly to help me back home. She don't know the way to Kampar and she thought to ask her friend to show her the way there. I'm very lucky.

Dear going back together with me. He fetched me to Tesco to wait for my mummy friend with his bike. Romantic leh~ haha.. Actually I still very bad angry him and rude to him that moment.

Departed from Kampar about 8pm and I reached Klang at 12.30am.. Serious traffic jam..

I want to take this small opportunity here to apologise with dear. Sorry for emo-ing to you again. Sorry to his housemates too of showing an unhappy face. Dear, really wish you can have a memorable birthday with me.

This year birthday, no cakes, no birthday song.. I just gave you a present and brought myself to you.

Dear, I'm happy and appreciate every moment at Kampar with you and your housemates.

Your housemates are friendly and interesting, I love them too.

The End

再见宝珠

2009-11-25T22:34:00.000+08:00

世事难料，珍惜您眼前的事物和您所爱的人，不要失去了才哭个稀里哗啦的。。

宝珠，今天离我们而去了。。。

突如其来的消息叫我难以相信。

哭也哭过了，难过也难过了，只能说，虽然与你相处的时间不多，但你在我们一家心中有着很重要的地位。

宝珠，我爱你，珍惜你，对不起～

好希望有天能在遇上想你这么乖巧这么好的狗狗。

你，让我爱上狗，让我发现原来有个宠物是这么的幸福。

安息吧！！

妈妈爱你，我也爱你～

心情

2009-11-24T21:06:00.000+08:00

男朋友，一个让我每每想起都会会心一笑的，嘴角微微上扬的男生，怎么最近都让我很难过。

我故意大声说话，这是我撒娇的方式，希望得到一些预期中的回应。

可是怎么换来的是。。。。

我脾气暴躁，他说。

我不体谅，他说。

我不讲理，他认为。

为什么我做的，就不能引起他的注意？为什么小孩子发脾气撒娇会得到大人的安慰而我的装生气撒娇发却得不到回应。

他就这样让我生气，就这样让我关机不想办法找到我。为什么那些以前你会用的方法你到不再使用了。

我那么可怕吗？为什么我生气以后你都不会想尽办法来让我笑。

为什么说怕我。。为什么？为什么？天啊，我不明白。

我想，是我太依赖你了吧！每每伤心工作上遇到难题时我都想起你，安慰自已至少还有你。。

你仿佛是我的精神梁柱。。

不应该吗？可能吧！不管就不管，打给我不打给我就随便你，你想睡觉就去睡吧，跟一班室友出去随你去吧，反正我向你抱怨最后还是会被你的话给炸回。我没有做到时时刻刻打给你传简讯给你凭什么要得到你更多的回应。。。你也会累的对吧。。。。

想什么，我在想什么，女生在想什么，大家在想什么？

女生们都会跟我一样吗？

我要：

～天天开心

～乐观

～保持美丽 ^^
加油！！！！！！！！！！！！

Full House~

2009-11-21T23:20:00.000+08:00

Ha.. My family members added one again..

Its a dog.. Super duper mini dog.. A dog that given by my grandpa..

It has been in my house since the first Sunday of Nov.. A sudden visit of grandpa with a dog in his old car.

We now named it as Bozzu, yaya, quite a funny name.. Grandpa suggested to us as my youngest sister's nickname is Boey (cantonese), we (all the family members) used to called her Boey since she is a small girl. Bozzu, grandpa said its a gift for my youngest sister. Frankly, starting we all quite reject her since she is not in perfect condition when the moment grandpa brought her to us. She was injured. Her body can be said was full of scars and newly formed wound. We didn't welcome her exist at all.

Mama brought her to veterinary sugeon after that. Cutted off all her hair and treated her body wound. The veterinarian told mama that she is 3 years old dog, we are quite shocked with that new since she look so tiny compared to other small size dog. The veterinarian still told mama that this dog is special because she can talk, TALK?? what she mean?? haha..

Now, She had transformed from a dog that very scare and reject strangers to near her to a more active (at least can give us some reaction and can bark) & healthier dog. Damn cute is she.. Slow and steady, we used to describe her like that. She is very very well behaved and good breeding dog. Her didn't like QQ, bites all soft soft thingy in my house. She likes clothes. And she is clean. When she want to "do business" she will bark to inform us.

Tiny tiny Bozzu in her small "world" (please forgive her as she not yet fully recover)

********************************Dalan!! QQ's show***************************

Today Missy Pansy in mood to layan her two dogs.. Haha, feed QQ eat hug her sayang sayang her. Night time I after feed QQ then brought Bozzu out to let her "do business" pula.. First time touched her.. Bad master I am.. haha.. But I everyday after work I will call them and talk to them a while just they two don't want response to me..

Recently my friend Vangeline just bought a male golden retriever. Is very cute, looks small.. Haha, my QQ now already 6months and she is quite huge in size now, but we still able to hug her up. Below are the pictures when QQ first came to my house, that time she is just 2months... Time flies very fast~ {^!^}

--The End--

能不能再温柔一点

2009-11-11T23:20:00.000+08:00

我好想当个温柔小女人，不要粗言乱语，不要句句话中伤人，不要说些明明不是心理话却故意说出口的刁蛮女人。

生气很快老的，我要记得。

希望老公看到我的稿子时不要故意说给我听，不要在我心情低弱时提醒我要改臭脾气，我可是会在那时又更伤心的。还有，不要再说我每天都像来月经似的（天天脸臭臭）。我只是想得到你的关心（特别关心，但不要太刻意，多多留意我的举动语气就好，我还是比较喜欢用暗示的

**********************************************************************************

Message i received from him after unhappy conversation and after he read through my post

孤独小妹-from the very beginning till every moment, you only think yourself as lonely, not much getting attention, alone..All of these are just what is you think about yourself, you never be alone, i always be your ears, listen everyting you said, even when I can't accompany you weekly, i still call you always..Every night, there's a pair of ears ready to listen to your everything, but you just don't know how to use it, what you know is just saying yourself alone. You never understand what means alone..

-Believe me, you know nothing about alone.. So don't tell me you're alone.. You are not even close to this word.

I really don't know how to express my feel. I don't know how to speak out my heart feeling word.. Its hard to open my mouth to say such word. I don't know.. I sometimes feel myself is a failure. Why, why now i only aware of my weakness?? Why now my confidency becomes like even lower and lower?

I don't understand. He said I'm not alone, but I indeed feel lonely. I even cannot think of any one that I can talk to when I'm down. You can't accompany me all the times. Our mood is different, it makes me feel hard to talk to you when I'm in low mood but you on the other hand are happying. Your way of talk sometimes make me feel don't know how to talk my feel to you. Really...

Just now he asked me whether should tell my blog to his friends but I rejected him to do so. This blog just for myself and people I know well. My blog is kinda boring and unattractive, I knew, all post displayed seems like brought out negative message.. All typed out under unhappy unpleasant mood..

I don't know.. Siew Theng don't know again..

Be decisive, be confident, trust yourself, love yourself and your loves too..

Lonely

2009-11-10T20:32:00.000+08:00

不晓得为什么，此时此刻的我总觉得自己是世界上最寂寞的
为什么心情不好时没人陪，我的人生就得那么寂寞吗？
好想引人注目，是因为想的好别人的关心，想凸显化自己的存在感吧！
算了，说出来了也没人会特别理会我，从此时此刻起，我就给自己一个绰号叫孤独小妹吧，孤独没人爱。。。

Random

2009-11-01T16:05:00.000+08:00

I feel myself like started to love blogging...

But, is it a good way for you to release all your mood your stress by blogging?

This few days, i feel moody..

Mood swings fast..

I like to release out all my unhappy mood by typing it in my blog.. I just opened a private blog just for myself, not shared. But, I ask myself "is it a necessary way? Will it be better if i talk my feel to someone?" (But there is no such people that is everytime be ready for you) It makes me feel like want to be alone thinking of my problem alone makes movie drama in my mind alone living in my own phantasy world.

My temper is bad. I'm pro in hurting people i care by words. I always hurt them whenever i'm in low mood.

Just argue with my sister 2days ago. Is just because of room cleaning up issue.. Both of us revenge each other by words that is unpleasant rude to hear. My sister just done her orthodontic treatment this month and of course she will be in low-confidency stage this moment since brace makes her uncomfortable and looks not nice. I knew it but when in hot temper mood and in order to win so i fight back her by calling her 绑牙妹. I really need to change this annoying altitude.

I'm lazy. I didn't help my mom a lot in doing housechores. Mom is tidy up our stores room this few days but i didn't help her. Bad right? I didn't offer myself to help her. Just sitting there reading newspaper and thinking something alone. I thought I'm tired and need to rest after work. I'M A BAD GIRL. I've expose many of my bad altitude to my family my colleagues lately. Pansy... no, is SiewTheng, you shouldn't be like that. You know you can do better just you don't want to move only. Why you in tend to spoiling yourself in other people's thought on you?

Rose.... Is that every girl also has a crush on this beauty yet easily hurting (its thorn) flower?

During tidying my room's dressing-table i found some drying rose which i received 2 or 3years ago from my guy friend. He is the first guy who giving me rose. I starting feel nothing about this special present. That time i got it during valentine day. Second time is during my birthday during the same year from the same guy too. Is Kinda expensive i knew if buying one bunch of fresh rose (about 7 with other flowers together). Its sweet everytime i think back.. Rose rose rose, something special for me..

What thought it give you? For me, rose is full of mystery, intense emotion, passion.. Different colour of rose give me different thought.. I love red and black rose a lot (this moment)...

Skin care thought.. I've change my view on this.. I starting is think that for normal to oily and combination skin the skin care we choose must be emphasis in oil control and refreshment yet hydrate function. But, since last Friday i went to herbal lime with 4 of my colleagues for one skin exfoliating treatment for only RM28-00 per head (1st trial), the beautican told all of us with different skin type that we should emphasis in hydrating (give excess water to our skin) during day time and moisture during night time.

I got a bit confuse about this issue. Should we at this age range (18-21)years old buying a lot of skin care product using different kind of serum? According to my friend (I've heard that and read that from somewhere before), we at this age range shouldn't use so much skin care products as our skin still young still able to function themselves efficiently still can process something chemically well. Is this fact is valid? My different thought on this is if i now starting to take care of my skin very detailly very carefully choosing different type of products which i think is necessary for my skin then i can see the different on my skin few years later (still looks young). Prevention and maintenance so call.. So how? Should i just follow their statement that cleanser, toner and moisturizer plus sun block during day time (3 basic steps) is enough for youth skin? Skin expert, answer me please.. Because I still plan to add one serum into my skin care series this end of year, too love too enjoy the moment applying those special product. (frankly, my facial products still ok, not too many, just few only FOR ME)

Lovely Cameron Highland's trip

2009-10-17T23:10:00.000+08:00

It's my first time exploring Cameron Highlands, seriously!!!
2days 1night trip, seriously it's not enough for me and dear.. too rush..
Yap, only we two (a couple 2 lovers) going up to Cameron.. By taking bus.. Damn tiring journey yet memorable.. Dear is the organiser for this trip, he wants to make my uninterrupt leave to end up happily enjoyable memorable so he think out of going Cameron.. Really impressed by him, well done dear! He one-self find out the location that we going to explore, transport, accommodation (pick up 1 best hotel among 6 hotels by comparing price, location & transport ability), calling to the bus service there to check out for the price and time of depart.. He really spent a lot of time in searching out the best information in order to give me (the choosy girl) a unforgotten holiday.. Really thank you..
Actually before the trip exist we got some unhappy argue.. But it already been settled.. HappyXD

Schedule of Cameron Highlands Trip (14-15Oct)
wake up at the 6am, prepare myself, as we gonna to take the earliest bus to Cameron at 9am (RM35-00 one way - Unititi bus) at puduraya bus station
Takes about 3 1/2 hours to reach Cameron.. So me and dear take donno-how-many-naps inside the bus.. Oya, the bus got stop once in R&R for the passengers to go lavatory and buy some food into bus.

my breakfast of the day, haha..

We reach there about 1.30pm..The bus stopped and dropped us at a transport service counter..
Paying RM60 for joining a Natural Discovery Trip the next day (4 1/2 hours) and buying return bus ticket then take a cab to our Hotel - De' La Ferns. It's a new hotel which just opened few month ago.. 4 stars hotel.. Good environment, hygiene, good service, free from encumbrances..
We stay one night with price RM240 (online booking and promotion price), one breakfast included..

Hotel De' La Ferns

Our Room XD

ehm, let takes some pics at d Balcony inhale Cameron's fresh air... Walao, super CACAT my face

Waiting for cab to fetch us =)Snapshot while dear is chatting with driver

First location to visit, rose garden.. We walked to there after taking cab to drop by at kea farm.. soooo far soooo tiring for us both to go & find rose garden..

Around Kea Farm

Rose Garden (RM5 per entry)

Second place to visit, strawberry farm.. By the time we reach there it already closed.. Since that time already 6pm.. Most of the farm will closed at 5.30pm during normal days.... it's a very very long journey too for us both to going there too, since each farm is situated at totally different location, east and west.. the road is not even and ascending, damn tiring... Luckily I didn't bring my high heel shoe there, if not.. sure patah my fatty legs.. Hardly to get a taxi there also.. Some more the taxi fare is kinda expensive..
Third venue, butterfly farm.. Which we two think bored the most.. RM5 per entry..
At night, after have a quick bath in hotel.. Craving for food.. Oya, steamboot.. Our dinner..
We chose the restaurant that we found out most customers inside..
RM35 for 2 person.. Worth???
After that, we loafing around the shoplot there.. It's very cold outside.. Cold wind make us both feel like so wanted to go in a shop which is very very warm.. We finally entered an indian grocery shop "shopping" around.. Dear dear buy some snacks while waiting until 11pm for the cab driver to pick us back to hotel.. Actually not much thing to shop to go during the night.. It's quite peaceful the surrounding.. So next time i suggest u better come during the day got night market..

messy bed

Last day
Take our breakfast at De' La Ferns restaurant.. It's a buffet style breakfast..
We need to finish it fast since we have to check out then go for the Natural Discovery Trip at 9.30am.. Kinda rush for us both...
Going into a van that fetching us during the trip.. The van is full of foreign passengers.. Only we two are malaysian..

PAnsy's breakfast

Consequense of improper hair blowing skill

Vincent's choice

First spot we go - Tea plantation.. Really really nice view.. fresh air, muacks~

My Leng Zai lao gong I love this posture of lao gong so so so much.. I'm d camera girl o~ XD Going to the peak of Cameron.. The way to there is very dangerous.. Road quite slanting & narrow.. Your driving skill must be good enough then u can only can drive there..

Jungle trakking.. XD I'm brave..

same hand posture XD

See, this is the way we need to climb up..Alamak, 春光外泄（动作还很难看）（我妹还说家丑外扬）wuwu~ our pity shoes... (should be pity hand - need to wash)

Third venue, Boh Tea Factory.. And opposite is its restaurant..

one of the machines that use in processing tea plant (2nd process)

Last location to visit, rumah orang asli.. Due to raining, we just viewing the house inside van..

2 days 1 night luxurius Cameron trip ended up happily, tiredly, memorably and enjoyably.. =)
We going back by taking bus back to KL Central (long long journey).. Since both of us got too many "burden" to carry, we decided to take cab back to our lovely home.. Another big expenses again..This trip both of us have spent about RM4++ individually.. Its quite a lot for me since we just at Cameron about one whole day only (reached there at 2pm and back at 1.45pm next day). Anyway, We love it and enjoy ourselves indeed much.. This trip has make me & dear more understand each other and indirectly closen & tighten our relationship..

Must love must trust must believe in myself

2009-10-17T22:40:00.000+08:00

Hope myself always positive-minded, just like my friend..
I just read through her blog.. Impressed by her.. I like her altitude, positive thinking, high self-esteem.. I hope i can find out or clear with what i want actually and go ahead to achieve my dream.. success in career or either study.. I believe all this just depends on how u think and how u work.. Jia You Pua!!!
Dear always trying his best to raise up my confidence towards myself.. As he knows me very very well, just as my family.. I tell everything every feel of mine to him..
Honestly, I don't really expose my feel to people.. Except people i face everyday and that are really care of me.. I'm, really really a low-confidence girl.. too relying.. to scare of carry responsibility.. can't make decision my ownself, always have to ask many people's opinion then end up i can only conclude out a decision for myself.. I don't like my altitude.. I always hope that i can be like others.. I don't like myself..
But now I'm a bit better, at least have some confident with myself ad.. Still need to improve myself.. I'm not a small girl anymore.. going to become an adult few years later.. I can't behave and think and remain at this current stage.. I NEED TO CHANGE!
Be independent (if i want to be success in everything), be confident, trust myself, know my own ability and yet always improving..

JIA YOU JIA YOU SIEW THENG
thanks lao gong too, love u so much, you r my best friend my best lover my best hubby i ever met... Must keep sabar sabar with my this headache altitude o~

My lovely holiday begins~

2009-10-12T10:11:00.000+08:00

Yeepee! This week I'm free..
I can do whatever i want whatever i like..
No more time restriction...

This lovely Monday morning, mama waked me up when i still in deep deep sleep..
Asked me to go for yoga class.. For replacement.. Since i had skipped 4classes d..
But, we didn't go for last.. Monday's Yoga Class tooo full d.. So, accompany mama go pasar pagi..
Buy veges, fish, eggs..... And also mee as our breakfast..

Breakfast of the day... hungry hungry.. stomach emtpy.. yummy yummy

Afternoon, accompany mama to send my youngest brother to school.. The school bus auntie's bus sent to repair d.. So mama said she can fetch my brother herself, helped her take 2 students stayed nearby my house too... Kind rite???
Later 6.45pm i need to go for yoga class..Alone.. Mama don't want go... hmph.. never mind la..

*************************************************************************************

Sunny Sunday, went to times square with Vincent.. We long time didn't go there d..
Actually our purpose to go there is to buy a sweater and hat (if possible) for myself..
Gonna use it when go Cameron Highland with Vin...

Took our lunch at Banana Leaf - Vin's choice, nasi lemak rendang chicken

1, 2, 3 Smile

Pansy's choice - mamak fried rice

Pale face.. actually i got put light make up on my face, but....

"Tao gay so" count $$$.. haha.. no tips for u..

Name sticker.. I want use it to paste on my office's stationery.. Very trouble me to find everytime i misplace.. And i will thought that I'm bad luck if my stationery especially gel pen gone missing.. After found it I will very happy and tell myself that something good will happen on me.. Childish rite?? This costs RM12 for 72pieces..Vin shared with me since i think i won't use it so much..He put his name as 小V Vincent Tan because his class got one guy which is older than him also called Vincent, he is Big V and dear is small V..^^

Actually we quite bored at there.. Loafing around...Leg very tired... Not much choices for us both... Maybe because we two don't have mood to buy clothes, some more I think time square is not a very ideal place for me to shopping.. But me at last have brought back a sweater, shirt and also stocking for myself.. Sweater that Vin bought for me, is not my type.. Seriously.. Too pinky too cute.. But good try XD (since he like this)

龟苓膏降火气^^

cutie pinky sweetie sweater

*************************************************************************************

Actually got one thing that bother me since last week.. My "dai yi ma" not yet come.. Lol.. Suppose to come tomorrow de.. But I want it to come earlier.. I don't want my precious holiday to be suffering due to it.. Many things i have done to make it reach earlier.. Firstly, I ate pineapple for 2 days(last Wednesday & Thursday).. Mama and my colleagues also said they normally after 1day ate will come period d.. Secondly, I bought tong sui that is quite凉 (cold?) to drink on Saturday.. Thirdly, I took half bowl of 龟苓膏 on Sunday..
But.............. Nothing happen, lol..
Period ar period, don't come during my holiday.. I want u to come earlier but u didn't.. So, now i wanna make u to come after my holiday d.. Later i want ask my mama to bring me to Chinese traditional shop to take some recipe that can postpone my "dai yi ma's" visit
Feel guilty for treat my body improper (V_V)

Summarize

2009-10-04T22:40:00.000+08:00

Today doing out aeon jj with Vincent, haha, againsss..... JJ, our "dating lao di fang"...
Go for movie Sonority Row, for me, this movie ok ok nia.. Rate this 3stars..
Quite funny today, coz we two very poor (Wallet of us both total up not more than 50bucks, poor couple)..After movie, search for an ideal restaurant for fix our stomach. Poor couple.. due to financier problem, we two finally decided to have our lunch at jusco's arena food court.. Lol.. Kesian betul.. ha, but good memory also...
Then we go to Popular bookstore a while.. Funny incident happened here.. Violent me torture my dear Vincent by twisted his hand when he keep joking at me saying that "I'm the flower of Andalas".. I twisted him until his hand become red red.. Some people looked at us that time because I after twisted him then i run away... Hey, sensitive issue for me, if somebody hear that sure will laugh at me.. Vincent ar, next time really can't mention it in public place , if not I really can't predict and promise what I will going to do to you lor... blek~ Funny we two..

Yesterday, moon cake festival.. Went to GreenBox sing k with Vincent.. Just we two.. haha... Before that went to sasa to buy my aquajuju toner and a nail colour...

Love this colour muchi muchi, look natural for me

Monday, the sweet couple went for shooting.. haha
Further details I tell later...

First time put so heavy make up on my face, sure can't miss to take some pic b4 remove it XP

Wonder why the image's colour so blur.. My phone photo capture quality so bad meh???

Penang Trip.. NICE... LOVE it..
Thanks Sue Hue for inviting me for joining the trip...

dropped by at Ipoh to have our breakfast b4 continue long journey to Penang
7girls in one room.. messy... the bed i sit on is the bed me & sue hue sleephaving breakfast at kopitiam before staring our trip of the day, due to too many people & small table, we separate into 2group

Spice Garden

barbie dolls.. my love when i was a little girl..

beach time XP.. batu feringgi if not wrong.. haha.. funny my hairstyle

Day before going Penang, went to Genting with my family and Vincent.. Thanks Vincent, he purposely rush back from Kampar just to accompany me to Genting.. Thanks Crazy Prince..

sleepy face... we arrived Genting at early morning 4am..

Don't know why my siblings still feel energetic... Zhi lian-ing Love this pic of my sister.. Nice nice...

having dimsum as our breakfast + lunch... kinda expensive but good service nice food.. Worth expenses

I look plump in this pic.. lol.. fatso-End-

2009-09-30T21:37:00.000+08:00

Think of changing my blog to private profile...
Am I suppose to do so??? Ehmm.. The purpose that i created this blog is because I wanna write down all my feel my memory release my stress and update my latest progress to people that care for me and eager to know my current condition.. XD especially for my dear hubby Vincent who is far distance from me... I'm a quiet type girl, shy shy sometimes, fake fake (means not easily expose my feel to other, bad temper exclude) sometimes...
So how?? Haha, later only decide lar~

2009-09-19T21:06:00.001+08:00

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥
Going for trip!!
Wish myself good luck, muacks, jia you!!!!
♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

Feel Touched~

2009-09-15T21:37:00.000+08:00

Today outdated's Pansy only found out that this song very nice + touch...
Recommended by colleagues... Pansy found that her girl friends them like sudden very interest and pay high attention to this song.. They displayed this song during working hour via their mobile phone. They said at facebook quite a lot of people posted this music video in homepage to share.. Quite famous for a long time d... Due to curiosity, Pansy then asked her friend to send this song to her via bluetooth to her mobile phone.. She searched for the music video once reached home from work..
It's touched (the lyrics)... After know the story behind this song Pansy really touched... Frankly she quite dislike this song when the time she first listened it displayed from her colleague - Siew Li's phone (She set this as her message tone and Pansy felt that its annoying)...

I will prove you I can

2009-09-14T20:17:00.000+08:00

Hard work paid with non-appreciation.
It's ok, fine... I had changed my point of view towards M...
I won't let M's immature thinking affect me... In fact, i will perform better to make her regret of what she said. I treat M as my friend, but.. Well, never mind.. From now onwards our relation is just working partner, that's all (I got once time quite close with her, we sharing our problems together, going out lunch together sometimes, but now, its ok. I saw her altitude and real personality more clearly as i dealed with her more, many colleagues not really trust at her due to her altitude?? don't know.. Don't care now, don't want bother her anymore, she hurt me)...
Today i realized she said something hurt me from third party, she said, "if i has a good clerk, i won't be so suffer"... FINE... I don't want revenge you by words.. I just do my part, that's all... Everyone got eyes also can see... Its ok.. My hard work returned with non-appreciation..

Well, this unhappy thing already passed... I don't want to think it again after voiced out all my unsatisfying to my friends... Here got some funny jokes to shares~
从前，我认识一个来台湾学中文的外国朋友，也是教会的教士;他为了快速学好中文，所以付费要求我教他国语，每星期到他办公室上三次中文课。有一次，他请我到他家吃饭，也让他有更多机会学习讲国语。已到他家，就看到他已经准备好四道【中西合拼】的菜，手艺还不错！“哇，你真是厉害！准备了这么多丰富的菜，太厉害了！”吃饭时，我很客气，也很刻意地恭维他几句。“还好啦！这没什么啦！”这外国传教士用生硬的国语说：“这只是小便饭而已啦，不是什么大便饭啦！不用客气！” “。。。。。。”天啊！这是什么国语？我差点没吐出来！

有一个美国人，来台湾做生意，自然就想学会一些优雅的国语。有一次，这美国人用生硬的国语问他的客户：“您府上有几位少爷？”“我家里有两个小犬。”客户回答，并问道：“您呢？您家里有几个小孩？”这美国人一听，人家这样客气，称自己的儿子为【小犬】，所以自己也必须客气一些，不能失礼；于是他也很礼貌地说：“我家里没有小犬，但是有三个小母犬！”

笑一笑，没烦恼～

Masks i bought from Wendy today o~~ Easy + Convenient to use

2009-09-13T22:20:00.000+08:00

Feel so free so relax now, haha.. Tomorrow gonna start work d..... Wish myself good luck first, hope this week not too much releases to do... This week, my partners, Zai she going to take her uninterrupted leave, means from Wednesday onwards i need to do 4 officers' releases... Woowoo, Good Luck Pua.. Hope Zai got a pleasant happy Raya with her family..

Wish Dear good luck too, this week and coming week are his very important exam weeks.. Really hope he can score and achieve what he wants.. Jia You!!!

I hope from coming month onwards, i can save more $$$..

Just now i just gave my words to dear, i promised him and asked him to trust me and let me be his skin care consultant.. Wahaha.. I promised him that i will try my best to make his headache pimples + acne to disappear... I wanna introduce him to buy some skin care products.. As u know, i have a great passion in skincare-ing... I really hope i can be expert in this field.. Love pamper myself with all those lovely stuff... I always believe that i can see the different one day if i keep on take a good care on my skin (although my skincare collection and my knowledge towards beauty is not much now, but i won't be lazy in any single steps and i will keep on improving myself)..♥♥♥

Kinda late d, going to take a quick but not too fast warm (???) bath now.. Tatas Pansy! Muacks~

♥♥♥Nite nite~

What's in my mind???

2009-09-13T13:45:00.000+08:00

Thinking of my future.. Ehh... What i want actually??
Should i further my study? Full time study or part time (can continue my work in the meantime)..
What course should i take? Perhaps Public relation...
I'm confusing.. Too rely on my family till can't make decision myself..
I don't like to be independence if i could choose, i rather make myself to rely on someone.. Headache when gonna make decision.. Can i just stay in my little girl world? I don't want grow up..
Don't want carry responsibility.. I just wanna stay in my happy little girl world.. Just be myself, doing whatever i want, follow my mood.. Don't want hide my sadness & angryness...
How good it is if everyone of us just as pure as kid.. Never lie, never hide his personality, dislike unwanted just reject, happy just put a broad smile on face..
I hope i'm always lucky.. Everyone i know is sincere to me.. Like & Love me..

M.U.A.C.K.Z. Love Siew Theng

Colourful Kuih Lapis.. Sim bought it.. Nice taste, sweet~ But kinda pricey

Haha, i bought this to my family.. Ordered from my Malay colleague.. cookies RayaTime flies fast.. Everything just like end up very fast.. We must appreciate every single moment of us being with our loves one.. Good Luck to everyone.. I hope everyone i know HAPPY everyday~

HAPPY GO LUCKY

Hold tightly on what u hope & believe in......

2009-09-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

Ya, i believe...As dear said to me...
What i believe what i think is what will happen on me in future... Your think control your future..
Accept the unchangeable, change the unacceptable

I don't want my bad emo to affect my daily progress later on.. I want to be happy always~

Today, 10/09/2009, is quite a unfortune day for me, really feel bad luck of me... (shui ar)
-almost fall down from stairs (2 times)
-nearly clamp by lift
-mountain of works sudden come to me at the late of working hour (urgent somemore)
-problems arise during performing release in system
-careless mistakes(feel blur blur d coz rushing), need to trouble my 2 officers to sign (3times)..
-due to my careless, i think my superior will lost trust on my work capability(i don't want like that)..
-trouble my friend who came to fetch me, need to wait for me for 15mins (luckily he is patient type)

I'm trying to maintain good mood during work.. But really don't know why, bad thing keeps finding me.. Sighhhh... Never mind, all these already passed d.. I WON'T be affected.. I just treat this is the low season of mine.. Don't want think too much negatively..

I want to be positive minded always~
I want to be happy always~
I believe my capability~
I am not the best, I can't satisfy everyone, but I'm trying to do my BEST every time..
I believe what i believe in will come true one day
I believe I'm the lucky girl (I have my best man with me, sincere friendship, loving family)
I BELIEVE GOOD THINGs WILL COMES TO ME ALWAYS~

♥♥♥♥ Love ♥♥♥♥

2009-09-06T20:12:00.000+08:00

♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥
Sweet sweet date again~

Nothing special to mention, we just go for movie
The Final Destination & G.I. JOE
Just wanna upload some photos that we captured...
I love lao gong photographing skill o~

Noticed some changes on my hair??
Lao gong lor, he rubbed my hair to make it looks more volume..
Thanks dear, i love this hairstyle..♥♥♥♥ Sweet sweet love ♥♥♥♥

Day out with my family

2009-09-05T21:27:00.000+08:00

Today shopping with mama & my sisters.. Haha, i like it
I bought 2 one-piece shirt and a belt for myself, feel so satisfied, mama like it too XD
Actually I'm a no idea girl, always cannot make decision myself... Easily get affected.. (Ehm..Need to change) Luckily this time is mama made decision for me, she said i should buy, and i just took it without doubt since there is someone who is so important to me agree that i'm suit with that garments..
I love my time shopping with mama, no stress, relax, just be myself..
I'm happy and satisfy with my Saturday, my mood is in pink colour, so just call it as Pink Saturday, muacks~

Qiuck snapshot before going out, blek~

Love this high platform so much, mama recommanded me to buy wan, feel comfortable with it.. legs won't feel tired and pain easily.. Its my first time wore it o, i just added it into my shoes collection last week..

have a short break during shopping.. mama tired d.. XD, she loves coffee..One of the garment that i bought XD

I need to save $$, really.. Too much thingy want to buy d.. I want add some face serum into my skin care collection.. So? save money!! (拜家女) :p

我发的不是稿子，是寂寞

2009-09-04T22:26:00.000+08:00

The title above very suitable to describe my feel...
Bored bored bored...What's wrong with me??
Ulcer (at tongue) and sore throat, feel so suffer (cant talk long and loud)..wuhuhu~
But, yeah yeah.. Monday is holiday.. can rest more at home..
Play with QQ, read magazine, watch movie, relax relax
How and when i gonna take my uninterrupt leave huh? 6days..
Its precious for me..and I must spend it wisely..
Last time plan to go Kampar to accompany Vincent for two days, but i still can't make arrangement until now... Not clear with his schedule...

I feel myself so quiet this whole week... Although my colleagues said i'm sampat since that day met xxx... Altitude sudden change.. become so talkative.. I don't know...

ehm ehm... well well... don't know what to write regarding my feel right now...
Gonna take a warm bath d.. Hopefully my next post is something happy and funny wan.. Every post of mine lately seems damn bored and unpleasant..
Muacks, love myself and confident with mine~

2009-08-23T21:57:00.000+08:00

This week damn bored~
No much memorable events happen on me.
Qiute tired with current job.
Everyday rush of doing releases..
My unit having a meeting last Friday, i feel speechless with the final outcome.
Ms Tee, my officer and also lunch time partner, has changed her lunch time, superior decision..
Wuwuwu, next time can't lunch with her ad, i like to lunch with her because she always brings me to farer place (still walking distance from office) to eat. Eat different food at different venue.. Every week keeps eating at the some restaurants nearby office very sienz..
Wuwuwu, expected from tomorrow onwards i need to get used to having lunch in office, because my other lunch time partners they lazy to go out eat..
I don't like my office life!
That's one thing i need to improve - customer service.
This is what i feel hardest the most.. I don't know how to console and calm down a cust/developer in anger.. I just know apologise.. How???? Somebody come teach me.. Teach me the way of speaking.. Although my post don't need to attend customer, but i still need to learn..
Still remember last time i made a developer who came taking cheque from me very angry, we had some misunderstanding in talks.. I that time like very shy and scare when talk with him.. He came to take the cheque from us but we haven't release yet.. My colleague in charge for it mc.. So i came out to attend him.. He asked me in danger, "why your bank so slow in progress, why already xx days ad yours still didn't issue cheque?" I thought internal reason (colleague mc & officer in charge last time on leave) cannot be a reason of delay.. So i just apologized to him but apologise is not helpful at that time.. I got scolded.. Felt innocent.. He second time came to take cheque (this time I'm the person in charge) from us without our prior notice, (normally we after issued cheque then will give developer a call to inform them to come collect cheque, but he came without my call, and I HAVEN'T RELEASE HIS PART YET AT THAT TIME), so?? I got warning from him.. He said will complain me to manager if next time i trouble him again.. So unfortunate i felt.. My superior asked me to not bother him, bcoz he is too rude and unreasonable.. I cried that time, mood affected because of him.. I left a very bad impression to him..
Last Thursday, my colleague in charge for this developer's release made a mistake. She gave the wrong cheque to this developer. She feel scared also, called the developer's office girl immediately once she noticed and the girl gave my colleague her boss number and asked her to call back her boss.. My colleague who doing same post with me, who is smarter, more efficient, more experienced managed to handle the developer well. He didn't angry with her, still able to smile.. I'm impressed with my colleague way of doing thing.. She took the cheque to downstairs and wait for the developer, T come.. Before going downstairs, she called T and informed him to not come up since don't want to trouble him to find parking then come up again.. She going down and passed him the cheque.. If i were her in that situation, i sure will get scold since i will only apologise for trouble him.. I surely will not think of going down my ownself to pass thing to him.. Feel low-confident again...
She talkative, know how to communicate with officer & superior.. Compared with me who only concentrate in work all the time.. My officer all are much more older than me, all at the age of 35-40, so I'm always like can't find topic to chat with them.. But my colleague, (she is a mummy already with two children) always can chit chat with them during work.. I feel myself so weak.. Just know how to work, other not pro... How to improve huh??

This pic taken at WeeHan house.. BBQ-ing.. I got a bit drunk that time.. My face look red right??
Next time I won't mixing alcoholic drinks.. The feel of drunk is not good at all..

Shopping day^^

2009-08-16T17:25:00.000+08:00

Midvalley trip..

Regardless recently high concerned Influenza A (H1N1).. Worry too, God bless
We went up there by taking train, mixed into crowded, phew~
Noticed that Klang's people awareness towards H1N1 still not high, less people wearing mask.
KL area quite a number of people wore mask..
Hopefully there is strong medicine that can use to fight against Influenza A
We (actually is lao gong) crazy shopping there with limited credit --!!
Accompanying Lao gong to Zara, Espirit, Calvin Klein and so on..
He loves branded.. I hope i can influence by him one day so that next time can crazy with all this stuff together..
But, i prefer spending money in buying branded cosmetic and skin care product IF I WERE RICH..
Nice date, I can said.. Although its quite tiring due to taking public transport..XD

I loves Lao gong hairstyle, handsome right??

There's one thing that polluted our sweet sweet nice date.
It happened during the time we walked back to take train to KL Central.
Its a stupid donate we can said. Me & Lao gong donated our $$ unreluctantly.. without our sense
Lao gong & me spent about RM400 & RM150 a day so we have no enough $$ to donate d..
But the person doing charity?? (perhaps) there still asking us to give them time to explain and they stated that NO DONATION IS REQUIRED!
We stopped and listened to them.. One girl and one guy talked to each of us.. They spoke fast at once, i can't catch up what they said.. But, i heard clearly the guy said to me that i just need to fill up my name & contact number.. And i followed his instruction since i saw lao gong was doing that.
When i was writing down my details, one guy came talk to me too, trying to move away my attention i think until i didn't realise that the last column i have to put in is the amount i need to give. WTF
So?? I donate RM10 & same to lao gong.. Lao gong said he already told the girl our situation that we really not affordable to donate since both of us almost use up all the money we got..
The girl replied that, " u already filled in our detail here, why not u just give $$? Its not donation since we will return you back some souvenir". The minimum amount to give is RM20.. So bad.. We should donate based on our capability.
Hope that me and lao gong won't meet up the same person next time.. Because we sure will revenge them by words!!

wearing mask during the time back to Klang. Anti-virus

Sweet Relationship still remains~

2009-08-16T14:47:00.000+08:00

Thank you kok seong & sook chan (Vangeline) who had read my post & concerned for me.. Thank you (feel touched^^).. Me and Vincent still fine..
We didn't argue for long, its just a few days of low-profile for us both but everything absolutely make a full turn now..We are now close together again.. Its not easy to separate us.. We are continue to joining the world's sweetest couple queue.. The one piece will not be into two..

Now, I'm going to continue typing "Their love story" which is written by Vincent during his down moment when arguing with his don't-know-thinking-what-sometimes girl..I got no comment on myself, don't know how to say about myself..

Their Love Story II
The stories continued... The young couple indeed hang off the conversation bad, but the guy still believes, they will be as good as before on the next day, just like those quarrels happened before... Yes, this time, the guy is right once again... The guy woke up the girl to work early in the morning. And as usual, the guy give the girl a kiss "muackx!" before the girl hang up the phone and get up from the bed and starts her preparing.. Everything works fine that day, the guy went to school, the girl buried herself with office works... Sometimes, the guy will received a message from this girl and same as the girl, she will also receive sweet message from the guy... Its looks like a calm and peaceful day, but God knows, there's a big challenge for the young couple tonight... In fact, this will be the biggest happening between this girl and guy tonight..
The night is like a climax for this young couple's relationship, but the only difference is that this climax is in a negative way... The guy first starts the mouth fight with a scorn tone saying to the girl, perhaps should said is asking the girl, "why are you so late only call me? What are you doing? Got a new handphone so geng meh, till can forget me!..." bullets of words is like a heavy rain dropped on the girl.. Not hearing any explanation, the guy still asking the girl fiercely with hundreds of not-making-sense's question... If, perhaps the guy stops a while and listens to the girl explain or even just use a calm and not scorn tone to ask the girl, everything wouldn't be so seriously terrible... It just the moronic action of what the guy did.. If i could said, if only i could judge, the guy had even a little sense of compromise...
The girl again.. feel badly hurts... The guy told the girl, saying "since i started my studies outside, i already get used to the condition where my girl friend is not around me"... If there is anything in this world who deserve to be used the word, retarded brainless unicellular organisms, then i think the guy will be the best candidate to use this salutation... The guy didn't actually mean anything bad to the girl, he was just trying to said that, all these time, there are no others girls that accompanying the guy except her girl friend who is separate far from the guy... But, sometimes, words can be poisoning when meaning is misused in a mischief condition... The girl had again, had enough reason to cry... The guy hurts her so bad...
The guy tried to save the situation when he heard the girl keeps saying, "oh i see, so now i understand, you have GET USED"... The girl keep repeating the sentence, which the guy knows clearly that this is definitely not a good sign. The guy knows there is just about something unexpectedly bad... And yes, the whole three hours conversation was like a mouth fight for the couple, each confessing their unsatisfactions towards each others, one word followed one, one sentence followed one, more and more things exposed, more and more time passed, the guy had accidentally carve several, yet many deep, really deep scars on the girl's body... These scars is like a burning marking, it is not just a sign on it, but it is something that will actually be there forever even though the skin looks fair again... That is something we people called, deeply hurt till bottom... The guy know after the scars marked, but the every hurts have made happened, even words have remembered, there are nothing to be do, unless waiting some miracle...
Miracles did not happened even though the on-phone conversation stops after three hours of mistakes. The young couple had begun their experience on this love challenge... In this level, there is the existence of game over, but as well as the existence of revive... It just depends on how the couple did. The guy deeply feel sorry for what he had done, but sorry is not something useful to everything... Sorry is just for loser who wish to cover up their mistakes... But ain't no mistakes this is... The guy starts to change himself since his girl friend said to him, telling him that he didn't have much care of the girl, always tone scorning when speaking on the phone... The guy wanna throw away all the bad things that her girl friend dislikes, change anything and everything from bad to good, all these just to hope the girl will continue to stay beside him, not leaving him this time.. It is because the guy loves the girl so so so much, so crazily... He really mean forever with the girl... He really wants a forever love relationship with the girl...
The guy message the girl several times a day, oftenly not only on messaging but also making phone call to the girl just to tell her what he is doing now, where is he now, just to let the girl catch up with his progress in school. The girl knows there's changes on the attitude of the guy, its too obvious to be seen. For three days continuously after the "riot" breaks up, the guy is like totally 180 degree change, change to a boy friend who extremely tremendously care of his girl friend. The guy of course know that this sudden change is definitely weird and hardly acceptable for his girl friend in just shortly three days, especially these action is not oftenly seen on the guy towards the girl. Of course the guy know it is strange to turn over a leaf so fast in such few days. But actually, the guy know what he is doing now... He knows it very clear... After listening his girl friend's complaints towards him, he really decided, or so say, made up his mind to change these bad things to good since he want his girl to happy, to satisfy, he no longer wants the girl to be patient and tolerate with his attitude which she hates most...
The guy really will change, he said to himself. He decided to do so because he is too serious in this relationship with the girl. He don't want the girl has any excuses to leave him. In fact, the guy really need the girl to stay beside him forever. He knows very clearly, he can't lose the girl from his life... But the girl said, "i know you have paid max effort in saving our relationship, making our relation like before, or even better. But it is just hard for me to accept the new you in such a short day, before this, you are not like the new you, and every times when i think of those words you said to me before that that you have get used to be alone, i just can't pretend myself that there are nothing happened. I just need more time." followed by that, the girl said again " actually i have done something, but i will never tell you, forever. I have told my colleagues, but just even i told every one beside me, i will never tell you too. " In short time, the guy stunned. The words is so heavy, so burdensive, the guy starts to think, starts to guess, he was very worry, very worry like no times before...

The guy keeps asking the girl what it is.. But the girl really mean on what she meant just now, no means no, she said. The guy is so so worry, he still guessing, keeps on guessing... All up to the guy's mind are, " Is she be together with other guys besides me? Is she falls in love with other guys d? Is she not love me anymore? Is she planned to break up with me? Is she missing other guys besides than me?" it is indeed difficult to guess something that answers are hardly will provided.. The guy keeps asking for answer, he cried cause he think too much negative things.. He knows everything that the girl had done is all something that she wanted to hide from him, since the girl also said, " i don't want to tell you because i scare you will do the same thing to me"... The possibility of guessing right is bigger now.. The guy cried so loud, he really scare will lose his girl friend. At this moment, he even think of dying.. He so sad...

But then, the girl finally soften her heart after she heard her boy friend so sad, so desperate to know, so thinking negatively and crying aloud... She said, " don't worry, i really didn't think of break up with you or leaving you, not even finds other guys, or be together with the other guy, but yes, i did miss other guy after that day conversation"... The guy feel sad again, he cried again, he knows he believe everything girl said.. He got a bit happy and relieve because at least his girl friend did not think of leaving him or find other guy. The girl still said the same thing, "give me more time, please".. They paused for a while, then the girl went to sleep, leaving the guy there keeps crying.. He hope to save this relationship, he loves his girl friend so so much.. And even as an outsider, it is still clear that this guy really mean serious to the girl, he will change anything just to have his girl friend beside him forever.

What's in my mind???

2009-08-12T20:58:00.000+08:00

Why keeps thinkng of ----
Don't think... its impossible..
Don't think , just let it go...
U already owned one that is best for u..
Thing belongs to u lastly will reach to your side too..
But... honestly, i still hope it will happen on me..
Don't let me waits long, i scare i will forget soon..
Good Luck ^^

Eternal Love?? Sometimes i believe...

2009-08-09T22:43:00.000+08:00

I hope my love story with him will never ends.. He is a good guy indeed, the best guy i ever met.. We have goes through many hardships & challenges.. Yet, every challenges that we have faced through will just strenghten our love.. He changed my point of view towards love.. He makes me believe that eternal & pure love does exist. He makes me even more confident with myself.. Changing me from a low esteem girl to more confident and optimistic..

Their Love story
Once upon a time, there's a boy. This boy loves a girl so so much. He wants to be her boy friend, he knows that what he sees is what he really wants. Then, he boy starts to tackle the girls. For nearly half a year, this guy never give up since the girl had been occupied by another guy. The guy very sad, he misses the girl every day, phone her every night just to occupied her time from other guys. He feels happy when Friday comes since it is only way that this guy find his true happiness within a week. Every week, he waits. Every Friday, he beg the time to fly slow. Even others can feel that the guy loves this girl so so much. One day, there's a man, want to reverse his car, but unfortunately, this guy with this girl is standing on the way, then, the man asked, " will you protect her no matter what things happened? How will you react?" then the guy said nothing, but just hug the girl. From that moment since, he remembered it forever.
For after half a year, this guy finally gets the girl. He is so happy, he feels so unbelievable. He was thinking, " i got a such beautiful girl friend, it is my greatest deed" and yes indeed, this guy really cheer for the success. The girl is indeed a very nice person, from her stunning looks, her sexy body, her cute attitude, her cheerful response, this guy had poisoned. Poisoned by the girl. Every day, he finds a way to talk with this girl although this girl seems not so fall for him at first, but never mind, the guy waits. He done many things to makes the girl happy, gives her words of promise, confess to her that there will be a forever love between them. Nothing happened until the month June.
Then things goes on, life goes on. Every school break is the starting of love story for this young couple, and every school reopen is the pause of this love story. The guy continue his studies, to a higher level, sadly, at a farer place. The girl remains alone, continue her work as a social occupied worker. The guy said to the girl, "don't worry, Laopo. I promise you again, these three years, i will never change my heart, not change forever, believe me as i done it before for one year". The guy said with a very confirm tone, and yes indeed, this guy knows that this promise is not a invisible promise. He knows he can do it. Then, the guy and this girl still talks on phone every night, sometimes, quarrel did happens, but every time, it will poof, disappear to ashes on the next moment. This is what loves called, the guy said.
The guy went on study, far but no far from his house. The girl very sad, she scare all the words of promise will becomes ashes since she thinks that a distance relationship is lack of ensurance and safety. The guy stay far since he needs to study, the girl still continue working. The guy feels very sad since the girl said to him that he had changed, change to not stick to her anymore, change to less spending time to her anymore, change to can't feel the love and misses from the guy. The guy very sad. He explained, he still gave the words of promise to let the girl feel safe. He wants her to believe that forever love still exist in them. The guys wants the girls to go study too, since the guy thinks that maybe the girl go study, she will also know there's something else to care of besides than love. Assignment, school mates, exam, school activities... the guy explained every day. He wants to tell the girl to wait him to success one day and marry her with large cars and lives in mansion. The guy still know, still sure that, this girl, he always talk with in the phone is still his most loved ones. For the whole year in study, the girl's worry becomes ashes, none of her worries come alive. The guy still loves her very much. Still only the girl, the one.
But, there's something lucky about this boy. He was spotted by a magazine company and been asked to be a model for the magazine. Of course, the girl knew that it is a rare opportunity for a person, in fact, a normal and non-celeb person. The guy also couldn't resist the offer. Since this is the first time he ever encountered in his life, he went for the shooting, without the girl's noticed. Until then, the thing that the guy saw is this girl dropping tears of pressure, tears of low-confidences and tears of worries when he happily shown the magazine to this girl. He understood why the girl will cry. He tried to console her, told her not to worry any thing, promised her that he himself will not become ego cause of this magazine exposure and abandon. He knows, the girl will never be truly consoled, since if it is not that he appeared in the magazine but the girl, he will react or feel the same thing even when the girl gives him the same advices and promises just as the guy did. The guy feels sad too.
Until one day, this same chance strikes again. With same company but different method and different media. This time, this lucky guy had a chance to be one of the actors in a commercial. All started with a mail, calling him to give a shot, go to audition, try his luck, sees his capability. Second time, this guy shown his great luckiness again. He had been selected. But, there's is one thing that this guy worry about how to tell this girl about the news since he knew this time, compared the commercial and magazine, this present will doubled the impact to the girl. And so did, the girl cried again after the guy told her, for what himself had struggling for days to think whether to tell her or not. The reason the guy decided to tell the girl the news is because, he promised the girl never to hide any news from her notice. He keeps the words, but the girl cried again, just as what the guy predict. This time, the girl becomes even low-confident.
After the shooting, the girl had a quarrel with the guy. The guy confess to her to change her attitude of low-confidencies since he knows, most of time, this low-confidencies is indeed a reason of several breakdown of quarrelling. The guy said, "I'm fed up with your this attitude, such low confident, such bad-tempered, i hate it". The girl had enough reason to cry this time after listened to the guy's not-really-mean-it words. But the girl strong hold the tears, she said, "you are not good as i thought, why don't i just go find someone i really prefer and really good? Is cause your words that influencing me all the time, and it's not true a all". Now, the guy also had enough to cry out. This moment, in fairy tales, both the girl and guy should cried aloud, screaming for the spikes of words popping out from their couple's mouth. They ended up the conversation unhappily....